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PHOENIX SOUL
The hammer that has been dangling precariously from my now frayed heart string has finally become to heavy of a weight for it to bear.
With one final tug on the weakened string the hammer falls!
It falls fast and without care, breaking first through the wall in my soul that I so perfectly built that seperates my strength from my vulnerability! What took me years to build it OBLITERATED in a mere second.
As it found its way to the bottom of my being it shattered EVERY part of my soul into a million jagged little pieces, leaving nothing of my prior self to be salvaged! An empty space, a blank canvas!!!
The jagged little pieces are removed one by one carried with the current of my tears! Each tear cleansing as it flows taking with it the toxins that polluted my being, one by one.
The toxic thoughts
The toxic feelings
The toxic doubts
The toxic insecurities
Flowing fast and freely! I surrender to their current. I do not fight it. Im tired of fighting.
The rush of tears slowly becomes a trickle. Their job is complete.
The cavity where my toxic soul once resided is now vacant and scrubbed clean.
Ready for my soul to begin renovating itself on a solid, pure foundation. One free from toxic waste.
Each piece fitting with the next seamlessly, without friction. Piece by piece my soul emerges.
A piece added for each person I make laugh and two for each time I laugh.
A piece for every person I make smile and two for each time I smile.
A piece for each word of encouragement I give and two for each time I welcome encouragement
A piece for every time I offer my shoulder to cry on and two for allowing myself to cry on someone elses
My old souls one and only focus was to make sure everyone elses soul was unscathed.
My renovated souls one and only focus is to make sure it remains unscathed. A healthy soul can help alot more people than a dying one!! So two pieces of the whole are given for each time my own soul is nurtured and only one when I nurture someone elses.
MY SOUL IS VALUABLE....and deserves nurturing!
My old soul absorbed everyone elses negative energy in order to keep them from feeling any pain.
My old soul had an open door policy, allowing everyone to drag in their toxins and dump them there.
My old soul, in its quest to heal everyone that was hurting, internalized that hurt.
My old soul in its mission to protect all it loved from pain became oblivious to the pain it was in.
With time my old soul became so convuluted with everyone elses toxic waste that I was turning in to the person that needed to be saved instead of the one saving everyone else.
Now that I needed to be saved, who was going to save me?? Nobody but myself!!
My old soul was shattered when it could no longer bear the weight of the toxins that had collected there. Self destructed in order to self reflect and renovate itself with self love being its number one priority.
My renovated soul ;
*Will still do all that made my old soul so special but will not do it at its own expense.
*Does not have any walls within it. There is no wall to seperate my strength from my vulnerability. They are one in the same!! Allowing myself to be vulnerable without fear is the ultimate show of strength!!
*Will surrender to cleansing as often as it needs it. It will let the tears flow as fiercely or softly as they need too for as long as they need too.
* Is okay with the fact that its okay to not be strong all the time and knows that reaching out for a hand or asking for help is not a sign of failure or weakness.
*Will embrace the good that people are willing to share with me with open arms, without guilt.
*Will no longer have an open door policy. I will no longer allow negative energy to get past the threshold and pollute all the positive energy coming to me and from me!
*Will always put my feelings above all others. They are valid and should be vocalized, heard and respected with as much weight as I put in everyone elses.
*IS PROUD OF THE RENOVATIONS IT HAS STARTED AND WILL CONTINUE TO BUILD ITSELF UP, ONE PROJECT AT A TIME UNTIL ITS BEAUTY AND RADIANCE IS BLINDING.
*WILL STOP BEING SO SELFLESS ALL THE TIME AND WILL BECOME A LITTLE MORE SELFISH, WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY!!
If by chance I slip back to the ways of my old soul and the weight yet again becomes to much to bear, I vow to surrender all power and give myself permission to accept defeat without feeling like a failure. Defeat is not failure. Failure would be allowing myself to continue hurting when I have the power to stop it. The worst kind of failure is failing yourself!! I refuse to fail myself anymore! There is more than enough things/people that can and will fail me in this world, the only one i have control over is myself. Accepting defeat is the first step on my way to victory. I will stumble, I will slip, I expect to renovate my soul numerous times before i get it just right and im okay with that. In the end no matter how long it takes I will claim victory and my permanant soul will be impenetrable.
©️Dalisay❤️
With one final tug on the weakened string the hammer falls!
It falls fast and without care, breaking first through the wall in my soul that I so perfectly built that seperates my strength from my vulnerability! What took me years to build it OBLITERATED in a mere second.
As it found its way to the bottom of my being it shattered EVERY part of my soul into a million jagged little pieces, leaving nothing of my prior self to be salvaged! An empty space, a blank canvas!!!
The jagged little pieces are removed one by one carried with the current of my tears! Each tear cleansing as it flows taking with it the toxins that polluted my being, one by one.
The toxic thoughts
The toxic feelings
The toxic doubts
The toxic insecurities
Flowing fast and freely! I surrender to their current. I do not fight it. Im tired of fighting.
The rush of tears slowly becomes a trickle. Their job is complete.
The cavity where my toxic soul once resided is now vacant and scrubbed clean.
Ready for my soul to begin renovating itself on a solid, pure foundation. One free from toxic waste.
Each piece fitting with the next seamlessly, without friction. Piece by piece my soul emerges.
A piece added for each person I make laugh and two for each time I laugh.
A piece for every person I make smile and two for each time I smile.
A piece for each word of encouragement I give and two for each time I welcome encouragement
A piece for every time I offer my shoulder to cry on and two for allowing myself to cry on someone elses
My old souls one and only focus was to make sure everyone elses soul was unscathed.
My renovated souls one and only focus is to make sure it remains unscathed. A healthy soul can help alot more people than a dying one!! So two pieces of the whole are given for each time my own soul is nurtured and only one when I nurture someone elses.
MY SOUL IS VALUABLE....and deserves nurturing!
My old soul absorbed everyone elses negative energy in order to keep them from feeling any pain.
My old soul had an open door policy, allowing everyone to drag in their toxins and dump them there.
My old soul, in its quest to heal everyone that was hurting, internalized that hurt.
My old soul in its mission to protect all it loved from pain became oblivious to the pain it was in.
With time my old soul became so convuluted with everyone elses toxic waste that I was turning in to the person that needed to be saved instead of the one saving everyone else.
Now that I needed to be saved, who was going to save me?? Nobody but myself!!
My old soul was shattered when it could no longer bear the weight of the toxins that had collected there. Self destructed in order to self reflect and renovate itself with self love being its number one priority.
My renovated soul ;
*Will still do all that made my old soul so special but will not do it at its own expense.
*Does not have any walls within it. There is no wall to seperate my strength from my vulnerability. They are one in the same!! Allowing myself to be vulnerable without fear is the ultimate show of strength!!
*Will surrender to cleansing as often as it needs it. It will let the tears flow as fiercely or softly as they need too for as long as they need too.
* Is okay with the fact that its okay to not be strong all the time and knows that reaching out for a hand or asking for help is not a sign of failure or weakness.
*Will embrace the good that people are willing to share with me with open arms, without guilt.
*Will no longer have an open door policy. I will no longer allow negative energy to get past the threshold and pollute all the positive energy coming to me and from me!
*Will always put my feelings above all others. They are valid and should be vocalized, heard and respected with as much weight as I put in everyone elses.
*IS PROUD OF THE RENOVATIONS IT HAS STARTED AND WILL CONTINUE TO BUILD ITSELF UP, ONE PROJECT AT A TIME UNTIL ITS BEAUTY AND RADIANCE IS BLINDING.
*WILL STOP BEING SO SELFLESS ALL THE TIME AND WILL BECOME A LITTLE MORE SELFISH, WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY!!
If by chance I slip back to the ways of my old soul and the weight yet again becomes to much to bear, I vow to surrender all power and give myself permission to accept defeat without feeling like a failure. Defeat is not failure. Failure would be allowing myself to continue hurting when I have the power to stop it. The worst kind of failure is failing yourself!! I refuse to fail myself anymore! There is more than enough things/people that can and will fail me in this world, the only one i have control over is myself. Accepting defeat is the first step on my way to victory. I will stumble, I will slip, I expect to renovate my soul numerous times before i get it just right and im okay with that. In the end no matter how long it takes I will claim victory and my permanant soul will be impenetrable.
©️Dalisay❤️
