I was 7 years old when she came into my life. I didn't understand feelings or emotions until then. I only associated toys with joy and building blocks with a reckless passion that made me oblivious to other things and people.
You might have guessed by now that I am a bit autistic.
But it all changed when she came. Most of my classmates had little sisters or brothers and they would showoff whenever they got a chance. I did want one too . My mom thought toys would suffice and got me some of her old dolls for me to play with. I wasn't happy.
I was adamant. I even promised to do all my homework and potty cleaning by myself. She was shocked.She didn't believe till I actually wouldn't let her help me.
I did everything myself.I dearly wanted what others had..a baby of my own,whom I can call mine.
They did get me one. After a year, I got one and was excited.She cried everytime I got near.
My parents started paying more attention to her than me.I started feeling weird like I didn't understand the situation. I didn't want her anymore.She was noisy,taking my parents away from me and getting lots of new toys.
My friends were enamored by her too. They all wanted to carry her.Then I didn't like them taking her away from me too.
It confused me.I wanted her gone but I didn't want others taking her away too.
I told my mom that I didn't want the baby anymore too!My mom got irritated and said she isn't a toy but a living person like me and you live with them not throw them when you get bored.
One day after school, when I came back home I didn't find my baby sister.My parents were there.The little one wasn't.I was restless.I needed to hear her voice,her cries and babbling.
I asked my mom.She said the baby went away since I didn't want her.
I didn't believe her and searched the whole place.
I couldn't concentrate on anything.I wasn't hungry.I was angry.I wanted her back with me.I didn't understand the feeling again but I got angry with mom.
None of the toys or blocks could help me.None could bring me joy like I had thought.
It was late in the evening when someone rang the doorbell. It was my grandfather.She was cuddling on his shoulders.
I was so relieved and ran off to scold my mom for fooling me.
She was laughing and hugged me.She told me that I loved my baby sister and possessive about her.I couldn't possibly be happy without her now or ever.
My mom was happy to see all those feelings in me.
I guess my sister did build blocks of emotions within me🥰
She is definitely my precious angel and I am not giving her up to anyone.
Thank you God for your blessings.
I am keeping her forever.

© aadi