"Stop being all gloomy and depressed.. Just get out of your bed and do something.." Mother's words just piled on to my angst. She, just like every other person who wanted to help me, "motivate" me thought that I was just being lazy, that it was but a phase I was going through. I was never able to convey how I felt to anyone who asked, partly because words started failing me since I fell into this rut, and partially because no-one took my condition seriously. I found myself struggling for words to express the helplessness, the anxiety, the fear of impending doom I was feeling, for no reason, atleast non that I could control. My mind was going haywire and neither I nor anyone around me could understand why. It felt like my body was freezing, even though the weather man for the local news had forecasted record heat waves this week. Laying down on my bed, I felt as if someone was on top of me, pushing down on my chest, a heavy weight weighing me down. Every breath felt wet and heavy, making me breathless every now and then. My mind wandered like crazy, but never a good thought even grazed my consciousness. I tried sitting up, but my body was not listening to my thoughts as it laid tossing left and right on the bed. My bed, which had been my bastion of comfort had become a cage, an emporium of pain and trepidation. My cheery, happy go lucky self was no more, a thought which added more weight to my malaise. I couldn't think of how I had reached this point, what sin I had committed to be plagued by such demons. I have wanted to escape this mental pit, but I don't have the strength to climb out by myself. The mental fortitude that I deluded myself of processing had crumbled down, and was shattered into pieces. I know that I don't have it in me to piece together my shatterd mind, I am in desperate need of help. I wish to convey my helplessness, my vulnerabilities to someone, but even my mother just dismisses my plea as mischief. I have resigned to the demons that torment my mind, since my realisation of these demons, these weaknesses, these tears in my psyche, has further aided in deepening the very bog that my mind has sunken into. I just pray that someone will notice my pain, the malady of my heart and take initiative to help me, hold my hand and lift me up. I don't want to give up hope, for the slight ember of hope is what keeps my heart going in this numbing cold that has caught hold of my mind.