“Helga, could you come in here for a second?” Princess Kiki asked, popping her head out of her chamber doors. She was dark tan 18-year-old in a comfortable white tunic dress, with long black silken hair braided down to her lower back.
Helga, her wrinkled 74-year-old maid turned and squinted at the young girl and beamed at her. “Yes, certainly, my dear.” Helga shuffled over, and Kiki tapped her right leg impatiently as the old family servant moved slower than what Kiki would have preferred. “Yes, dear?” Helga asked as she approached.
“Don’t ‘yes, dear’ me!” Kiki moved out of the thick wooden door frame so the old woman could see her room clearer. “What the fuck is that?” She demanded.
The servant squinted at the large bedroom chamber. There was a king-sized canopy bed, a desk, vanity, sitting area with two velvet couches and a matching chair, a large chifforobe with some of her clothing, and the closed closet which held more. Expensive paintings adorned the walls, along with a giant silver mirror near the chifforobe. Helga squinted, trying to see if anything was amiss in the spotless room.
“I’m not sure what you’re referring to?” Helga asked.
“Are you even looking? Look at the bed!”
The bed was made, and the gossamer canopy rustled slightly. It was parted open, presumably so Helga could see her mistake. She had been cleaning this wing of the castle for over fifty years, and it looked the same as it did every day.
“Fucking off-white pillow cases, Helga! They fucking clash with the covers! How the fuck am I supposed to get any sleep with this- this cacophony of colors just existing around me!? I’m fucking stressed out as it is, and I have to have the colors perfect to keep my aura and my energy pure! And you’re just deliberately fucking it up for me!”
“Ah, what’s wrong honey? Are you stressing out over the betrothal?” Helga asked in her calm wise voice.
Helga’s ability to read Kiki’s mind annoyed her more. “No! Just, just fix it!” She yelled and turned so the woman who raised her wouldn’t see her cry.
“I’ll get some new pillow cases and some of those strawberry puffs you like.” Helga said and shuffled off.
“Whatever. Just fucking do your job.” Kiki muttered. Helga was right though; the betrothal was a dark pit in her stomach she couldn’t get rid of. She broke into the medical wing earlier and stole some opioids, but that was only making her sleepy, itchy, and her stomach more queasy. She bit her lip, sick about the thought she would never be able to see her lover again. It was regrettable, but her position as princess basically meant she was only a diplomatic chip in the grand scheme of things. She was to be married off to seal a treaty.
An explosion in the hallway snapped her out of her thoughts.
Kiki fell to her knees as the ground underneath her shook. She saw dust and smoke leak into her room. She stood up and walked over to the doorframe to peek out.
A section of the wall was blown away in a pile of rubble and smoke. Helga’s body was slumped against the wall with rocks on her, the side of her head was caved in from where it hit. She saw the red stain of where the old woman hit the wall.
As terrified an devastated as Kiki was, the only words that slipped out of her mouth were, “I literally just had her trained.”
She saw the movement of a red, scaly, serpentine figure trying to climb awkwardly through the hole. After a struggle, collapsing it’s wings as much as possible, it barely fit into the hall, and it bent forward. Kiki saw there was a saddle on it’s back, but no rider. The dragon hadn’t kept in mind it’s partner when it climbed into the hole and had probably smashed the Dragon Knight into the wall and made him fall three stories.
The dragon realized nothing was moving on its back, and its head turned to look at the empty saddle. “Chad?” It asked, confused, looking around, and then realized what happened. “Oh, shit, sorry bud! My bad!” The dragon peeked its head through the hole, looking down, apologizing to its rider. She heard the distant screams and curses of the rider from the ground. Something like “Fuck you, Kevin!”
“We’re still getting the princess, right? I think this is her!” The dragon pointed a claw towards me.
“Yes!” Chad screamed. She heard him clearer that time.
“Princess, climb on!” Kevin called to me.
“No?” Kiki said. “You, you murdered my second favorite servant!” She gestured to the deceased Helga.
“Oh, shit, my bad.” The dragon said. It crawled forward like a large hunching lizard, its wings knocking down tapestries and paintings as it moved forward. “We can still go though.”
“Fuck…you?” She said.
“Dirty mouth for a princess.” The dragon commented, getting closer. Kiki ran into her room, and to her bedside table. She opened the drawer, ran her hands through the quills and ink bottles, clinking them around, and noticed the item she was looking for had been moved. Fucking Helga.
The dragon reached her door, and she jumped in surprise. “Princess, this is super uncomfortable, and I don’t want to hurt you dragging you out…”
Kiki ran into the canopy, trying to get under the layer of material, trying to get to the other side of the bed. The dragon got through the door and was able to move freely now. It leapt towards her, and she got tangled in the other side of the canopy for a moment as she tried to get through to her other nighttable. She struggled through, and the dragon tried to move the canopy out of the way, only to get its claws tangled.
“Goddamn-” The dragon yanked it’s claws out, ripping through the fabric, gossamer still clinging to him. Kiki made it through the canopy to her other bedside drawer, opened it, and found the pouch she was looking for. She grabbed it and tumbled onto the ground, as the dragon moved around the bed to cut off her escape. She struggled to her feet, and raised her hands in surrender.
“Fine, I give up.”
“Oh, thank god. Yeah, lets just go out the way I came-”
Kiki pitched the bag into the dragon’s gullet, and he choked for a moment. He swallowed, and she saw a small burst of sparkles in the back of his throat.
He started to blink rapidly, and his head slumped a little, but he caught himself.
“Whoa, wha- what was that?” He asked groggily.
“Like, fifty thousand rupees worth of pixie dust. Gets you fuuuuuucked up.” Kiki smiled. She given him enough to kill her fifty times over, so she hoped it would at least put him to sleep. She sat on the bed, and he collapsed onto his stomach. His eyes opened once more, slower this time.
“Serves you right.” She said smugly. She couldn’t believe she had taken down a dragon. Sure, it was a little one, but now she could get a decent meal out of him for like, the next year. Dragon meat was rare in these parts, and her mouth watered already.
“So, yeah, Victor sent us.” The dragon said dreamily.
Kiki’s eyes widened, her mouth fell open, and she looked at the dragon again. His chin rested on the ground, and she could hear him snoring.
She stood up and started kicking the dragon’s scaled face. “Why. Didn’t. You. Say. That!?” She said with each kick. It felt like kicking iron, and her foot was sore now. Her lover, Victor, had sent for her. Made sense, that was probably why there were no other dragon riders around. She wasn’t under attack, they were trying to save her from her arranged marriage. She loved Victor, but the one complaint she did have about him was his lack of communication skills.
Kiki pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index fingers as handful of guards ran into her room.
“Oh, shit, are you alright, Princess?” Onslow, the head guard asked.
“Fucking sunshine and daisies. Great response time you guys got going there.” She snapped.
At the very least she could make her servants lives hell to keep her amused for a while.

© crothschild