What the fuck did I do so wrong for getting treated the way I do? Huh father! You fucken piece of shit!!! You started it! You gave me pain, you gave me fear, you took away my happiness, gave me heart break, you took away my innocence, you took away my freedom!! You took away a lot of things that I'll never get back!! I can't heal! I try every fucken day and I'm still struggling with everything that I been put through in my life! I understand why I can't keep anyone or why they always start looking for someone else to replace me, because I'm the problem! I wish I could heal, I wish none of this has ever happened to me, I wish you could of been my protector, I wish you were a father to me, I sometimes wish I was never born, because I can't be what everyone wishes I could be! I'm tired of being a failure, I'm tired of feeling unwanted, I'm tired of feeling unloved, I'm just tired of being the person that I am! I'm just tired of being alive in a world where no one cares, where everyone is so fucken heartless and only cares about themselves or only care about certain people! I'm tired of dying inside, I'm tired of feeling my soul wanting to leave me like everyone else does! I been praying to God for him to take me, but he won't. I don't understand why he wouldn't? I don't make anyone happy, because I can't heal from my traumas that I have. I'm nothing, but broken and make everyone miserable!
© Charlotte B.