I've often wondered why someone I loved so deeply could treat me so poorly, and yet treat another person better than they ever treated me. Over time, I came to realize a painful truth: I wasn't the person for them. I wasn't the person they could share their secrets with, tell about their day, or confide in about their big life events like promotions or challenges. I wasn't the lady he could hold hands with in public, nor the one he could take home to his parents. Instead, I was his sweet secret, a source of fun and pleasure, but never truly a part of his life.

Goodness, I loved this man. He was everything to me. The more he ignored me, the more my desire to seek him out grew. When he hung up on me, I would call back over and over again. When he said I wasn't for him, my brain twisted that into believing he needed me. I endured the pain just to have his occasional attention.

Now we don't talk, and it still hurts. Why? Why does it still hurt? I should move on, but the process of untangling myself from these emotions is far from easy.

I loved this man with a love that was pure and genuine, but that love was not reciprocated in the way I needed or deserved. Instead, I found myself in a cycle of longing and pain, mistaking his indifference for a sign that I needed to try harder, to hold on tighter. I told myself that enduring the pain would eventually lead to the reward of his affection.

But now, as I sit with my thoughts and feelings, I realize that holding onto him was a way of holding onto hope. Hope that one day he would see me as more than a secret, that one day he would recognize my worth and value. But that day never came, and I was left with the ache of unfulfilled dreams and unrequited love.

The truth is, letting go of someone you love is never easy, especially when that love was a significant part of your life. It's natural to feel hurt, to miss the person, and to wish things were different. But it's also important to recognize that staying in a situation where you are not valued or respected is not healthy.

Healing takes time, and it's okay to feel the pain and acknowledge it. It's a part of the process of moving on. I need to remind myself that I deserve to be with someone who loves me openly, who shares their life with me, and who respects and values me. Someone who is proud to be with me, not someone who keeps me as a secret.

As I continue to navigate this journey, I remind myself that moving on is a process. It’s okay to take it one day at a time, to feel the hurt, and to allow myself the space to heal. And in time, I know I will find the strength to let go completely and open my heart to the possibility of a love that is truly reciprocal.

For now, I will focus on loving myself, on recognizing my own worth, and on building a life that is full of joy and fulfillment, with or without someone by my side.
© marionbonareri

#heartbreak #reality #relationships #Love&love