She asked me if I'm sad.
I looked at her and smiled.

"I'm not sad", I answered.

I'm not sad that we broke up. I am not even sad that I am single or that I do not entertain any potential lover. I am not sad about living alone in this temporary house. I am not sad that I eat dinner all by myself. Or even if I struggle to cook my food. Or to do my laundry. It motivates me to be better. To do better. To be responsible for my shit. I am liberating myself from all the emotional baggage I've carried in the past few years. I don't even want to look back at how mentally damaged I was in the last few years. I am healing. And healing takes time.

I am not sad for this person that I am today. I found a new job. The job that allows me to treat my body right. Yes, I still lack sleep most of the time but it is no longer because of overthinking. It's because I discovered that watching television is entertaining. I learn to discover this child in me. The one I deeply shoved inside because I was so full of myself. I thought that I could take all the responsibilities in the world. Now, I am starting to love the things that I do for myself. Not for anybody else. I am still being responsible, but I see to it that the help I am sending would never compromise me in any way. I know I may sound a bit selfish but that's the major plan. To dedicate my time to me. If not, then it will defeat the purpose of my escape. I wanted a new life. A new place. A new me.

So, if anyone would ask me again if I am sad, then please go back and read this again.

Love lots!
© silvervierre