I always had a crush on you. You were the first guy I ever had a crush on. I remember being attracted to you the very first time we met. You beautiful brown eyes, silky soft skin and wonderful muscular body...I knew I had to have you. I wanted you. I needed you. I had dreams of making love to you. We were amazing friends. We're still amazing friends. We used to hangout all the time to where I trusted you and you trusted me. I was jealous every time you had a girlfriend and was happy when you broke up with each of your former girlfriends. Every time we worked out at the gym and you'd take off your shirt, I'd lick my lips every time I saw your abs and your muscles. I tried and tried to fight the urges of wanting you, but I knew I had to have you. I was scared to lose you as a friend, but I was angry at myself for having these feelings. The way you spoke and always looked at me with those sexy eyes always turned me on. You're a nice guy and an amazing friend, but I get turned on when you speak to me with a little roughness in your voice. Something about your speaking has me turned on. I remember the day I went through a breakup and you were right by my side and consoled me. You held me in your arms and I looked at you and you looked at me. I wanted to kiss you so bad and you wanted me to kiss you, but I didn't. Our friendship meant and still means so much to me that I couldn't risk ever losing you. I battle with my sexuality everyday and sometimes I wish I could just tell you how I feel about you, but at the same time, I'm glad I don't tell you how I feel because I don't want to lose you as a friend. I dream of sucking your delicious dick and fucking you and every time I dream of you, I get this sense of freedom I haven't had in a long time. I love you with my heart and soul and I don't want to lose you. You're my best friend and I thank you for always being there for me.






© Josiah Bhola Hillaire