I remember the day he told me that he wanted to kill his father because his brother went off to war and his father left his mother.

Leaving the family to fend for themselves.
Left the dead to bury themselves.
Which left a hole within his heart
when he realized he was by himself.

I remember the day he told me that he wished he was never born, because the death he saw, the children he murdered and sacrificed to the God of war.

He hears their cries and silent screams that haunt him in his sleep, he wakes up in these cold sweats wishing it was all a dream.

But these flashbacks that he has
just reminds him of the scenes...
of these Agonizing screams
Taste of death
Final breaths
And a massacre of his dreams.

Sometimes
a child's scream
influences everything.
It reminds him of his brother
Who was murdered even younger
then the little girl he killed
when she running from her mother.

In the war, with a bomb,
and he had to made a decision.
To take her life so he could live?
Or hold her in derision.
So he decided to pull the trigger,
semi hoping he would miss her.
And that was the day he died inside;
now everything's a trigger.

Sometimes
a loud noise
makes him think of gun shots.
It's just another trigger
so he pretends to pull the trigger,
As he ducts under the covers
Getting tangled in the sheets as he treads through muddy water.

To only wake up again to this reoccurring dream.
That haunts him in his sleep.
As he stumbles through the streets.
Wishing he could die because
nothing's what it seems.
His reality is but a dream
That causes him to scream
everytime he hears a baby cry,
it reminds of the scene...

Like a never ending movie
that Never seems to end
and glitches on his favorite scene
that replays in his head,

The scene of her running towards him
that makes him wish he died instead,
because now he has the memory
that makes him wish that he was dead.

He thinks about his father and his beautiful baby brother and he wonders how his mother could give birth to such disgrace.

He wished he was never born
and he hates the God of War
As he peers into the water and sees a reflection of his face.

He wonders which is better
to fall asleep or stay awake.
His reality has become his prison
and his life has been a waste.

I remember the day he told me
that he wanted to take his life.
Because in his mind it would be better
then to fall asleep at night.

He hates his dreams and all the things
that remind him of his past.
His whole life has been a bloody war and he truly hates his dad.

The reason he hated his father goes deeper then what he said. His father made him go to war and now his father's dead.

He blames his father for killing his sons and making them go to war. He blames his father for all the pain and for walking out the door.

He stumbles to his bedroom where he craves to fall asleep. To escape the pain he feels inside,
to escape the things he sees.

He closed his eyes and opens them
hoping it's just a dream.
As he sees her running towards him and he hears his brother scream.

That was the day I found him
with this poem written on his hand,
but it was written with a razor blade
in an effort to make ammends.

Not with the world but rather himself
as he drowned within this hell.
Each letter bled to same red color
as he wrote about about he felt.

I've never seen such eloquent words written with such precision. The words that bled a broken soul and released him from his prison.

© JustAnotherInkling🎨