Time never slows down. things seem as All around me it keeps getting wrost. You can't turn the TV on without something sad, evil, happing any more. you would think as time went on after noticing what they were doing wrong it would all stop. Everyone would want to become better than what was. But no they became. Words couldn't even begin to tell or say. Just when I thought things couldn't get any wrost. I told my self don't. Even tho it hurts, the pain is so deep. I some how keep my faith that one day while I'm still breathing. still able to give it my all. Just maybe they could see what I did at one time now I don't see anything but darkness evil in them. I gave up trying to understand them, I've tried. the more I give the wrost they get. it's heartbreaking they had witness so much that has gone on. They thought it wasn't true till they had to go through it. Maybe it's my fault they are the way they are. I know everything I've been through has changed me in so many ways. I know they are scared, But it doesn't give them the right to turn into one of them. I didn't think he would be like this. He knows what he is doing. He doesn't care. He doesn't care what anyone does to me. He,his, his mother all three of them it seems as everyday if I don't clean up after them, do what they tell me the words they use, it's not easy fighting back against 3 people. I do stand up for my self. It's messed up when your told when to lay down, when you can take a shower, who you can talk to, I don't know what it's like to be alone ever someone is always following me I dare not ask to leave. if I don't make the food right or fast enough it's war. I couldn't tell you what it's like to eat what I wanted or how much. it doesn't matter if I am sick. I haven't seen a doctor for a very long time. I know my body has been through a hell Storm, it's going to take some time to heal. I could go on. Every day it gets worse in the past week he had his way with me 2 different times I was sleeping when I realized what was going on first I thought it was just another bad dream it's not real but it was when I came to my face was down in the bed I was having a hard to breathing he didn't care I was hurting or what was going on. yes it brothers me I don't understand how any one can could be or do what they had. there's so much but it doesn't matter it does help just writing it out even tho no one cares or anything I begin to feel stronger that no matter what is done to me I'll be okay not really but some how I am I used to try hide it from others. I don't hate them, I know once I get out I'm never looking back these people all of them justice will My Lord my God will I've been seeing him do his wouders I know he is real. All hate, all wrong will be handled. I better get going the day has begun. don't forget to trust the man upstairs let him take care of you. he will
© carolyn L Barbe