Father's day... a day I used to look forward to as a small girl. Back then I couldnt wait to put my father on his throne of compliments and accomplishments as a father... I was so naive I actually believed he was the most amazing father in the world. I just thought "he doesnt hit me.. and he doesnt use the words bitch or hore to describe me. So he was the perfect dad". I was so far from the truth.. he didnt use explicit words but he might as well have. He blamed me for my and his relationship being nonexistent even though for all my childhood I used to do anything to win his approval but to no avail. I never met his expectations I never will... he said I was rude and disrespectful.. even though when I was he was yelling at me and tearing me down pieces... telling me I should be a better daughter a better person... I should spend more time with him even though very attempt I ever made was shut down by "I dont like doing that" or "I'm not in the mood". I have always had self confidence issues ever since I can remember. He just made it so I thought I was a worthless peice of shit. But I have finally learned he was the issue not me. I tried so hard to stay calm no matter what he said but when you deal with it for weeks or months every once and a while I just snapped. The last day before my ma kicked him out he came out and said i was a horrible daughter. But when i thought he could say nothing more to hurt me he did the one thing that killed every once existing part of my soul that thought he was a good father or person... he said the one thing he knew would hurt me the most. He said whilst looking at me "If you weren't such a bad example maybe she wouldnt be disrespectful and mouthy" he was blaming my mother... the mother who gave everything up to raise me her music hopes and dreams and he blamed her... he broke me... I started crying the hardest I have ever cried in all 18 years of my existence! And he stood there and watched me and my poor mother cry... and when he left he said that "it hurts ME to see you like this." and again it was back to him and how he felt... not a single tear came to his eye not a frown or sign of realizing what he did. A part of me died that day a part of me that will never exist again. I almost gave up on myself and my life... I told myself if I hadn't of been such a horrible daughter he would of never hurt my mother the way he did... I am slowly realizing now that he was the problem after 17 and 1/2 years of thinking I was the issue.. I'm not cutting him out of my life but he will never be a father to me our relationship will never blossom it will exist but not flourish... to all those good fathers thank you for being there for your daughters even though they dont realize how amazing you are one day they will! Tell your father how much you love and appreciate him daughters of today society! Respect and love him and dont take him for granted