Lately, I felt my life revolves around the axis. Everyone is moving in fast pace but I found myself stuck in the same place. Everything is nothing but a routine. I'm dealing with the same old things. Seem like a robot; limited and controlled. My body experienced being tired and restless. I started to care less for myself. Dressing up became a lazy thing to do. I drained myself to work extended hours to keep me busy. And my eating habit is getting worse. I may not have visible sickness but I knew something is wrong inside. Strange thoughts visited me every night. Unusual mood swings came running after each day. And it suddenly magnify and revisit the past. I tried to paint white when it's actually black. Now, the things that interest me depicts boredom. Passion and enthusiasm has left me. For months prayer and meditation became a challenge. There is a commotion; a battle cry from within; it's like a great famine. Like a fish that draws out of the water. Like the trees that gets withered. Like a river that stops flowing. My mind is sinking trying to figure out. For once I would cease the world from spinning for I'm already far behind. The words in my head keep coming through and it's telling me, 'not to let go'.

©maria_juana