Relationships are tough. Right? We all been there. Is it meant to be or just another fling? Where does the romance end? Simple. It never does.

Romance is a life long thing. It doesn't matter if you have been together a week or 50 years. Romance needs to exist. I have been in a long-term relationship with my fiance for seven years. I plan on getting our marriage licsenses next month for Christmas. Well, early Christmas. Also, I have rings ready to be shipped as well. It is what I want. Why? Because I love the romance. Romance changes. You have three stages of romance. The "High School Romance", "Young adult romance", and then finally, the "Forever Romance".

I had my first "High School Romance" when I was 19-years-old. I thought he was everything. I thought I was everything. I wasn't. He wasn't. I guess you can say that's where it all fucked up.

My "Young Adult Romance" took a dive. He made me feel guilty. I felt guilty. It didn't feel right. Not for me, anyway. I messed up; Kissed another guy. Thought of it as my way out. I wasn't happy. He wasn't happy. He was in the army. I wasn't ready for that kind of relationship. It was just another dream. He was a High School crush. Just gone wrong.

My current relationship? More than I deserve. I bet everyone feels that way. I mean, it's love. Love is a difficult cunt to deal with. We don't know if it's love, lust, or just fucked up. Love sucks.

I am so happy and thankful for who I have to be as my partner and father to my kids. I regret nothing. Being 33 really takes a toll on love and wanting the best out of it. Am I the the only one?


© The Writings of Jeanne Carlson