I've come to terms with the fact it's not gonna be easy.
It hasn't been easy.
Giving up, hiding who I am, it hurt, but it was working. A terrible way out, but felt better than the alternative.
What changed?
Why is my light dimming?
Why do I feel like I'm losing myself, I told myself I didn't need music. I decided I wasn't strong enough, brave enough, good enough, I didn't wanna put my heart and soul out for the entire world to do with as they please. Good or bad.
Imagine yourself fully naked for everyone to see. To watch, observe, critique you in such a personal way. The excruciating fear of sharing one's soul is so intense. I wanted nothing more to do with it.
Now something worse is happening.
My life force feels depleted. Like I'm no longer being given a choice.
I need music.
It's what I'm made of.
I have to be in sync, with a beautiful harmony, filled with truth, love and light.
Regret must be misery.
The decision is rapidly turning into an ultimatum . Time is clearly of the essence.

©Aura Roze