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The love between us
I treasure my friends because they are important to me—they are like a second family but I have this one special friend who captured my soul. He is Conan—he is more than a friend to me. I thought I was just infatuated with his looks and to his unique personality. That's why I kept denying to myself that I am not in love with him. I hate how this feeling drowns me because we can't be more than friends for I don't want to ruin our friendship. We met in a church and became friends since childhood. We became closer as we grew up together in our ministries—he is a youth leader and a preacher while I am assigned in children ministry.
It was lunch time when I was waiting for Conan in our school canteen. "Ezra!", Conan called my name. "Meet Leila, my girlfriend" He added. I was surprised to what he said but I tried to be nice and I smiled like everything is fine. But the truth is—I was hurt, I wish I was Leila who had his love and attention, I was insane of feeling this emotion.
He never told me that he courted someone. I was thinking that he was now hiding some things from me. So, since my friend Conan already has a girlfriend, I decided to put a limitation on how I treat him. I tried to avoid him and let the two of them to spend time for each other but deep inside, It feels like my heart is melting in sadness and in insecurity yet I have to be happy for him—because all I want was the best for Conan. That's how I showed my love. But it's like he doesn't notice that I am avoiding him.
Few months later, I heard that Conan and Leila already ended their relationship. I was so worried for Conan—I wondered if he was alright, if he was crying. I want to see him to know if he is okay, if he needed a friend to talk to. So, I picked up my phone and gave him a call but he never answered any of my 20 missed calls and 10 text messages.
"Knock, knock!"
I went to their house and her mom let me enter but Conan refused to talk to me.
It was Monday in the afternoon, I was standing alone by the corridor when someone stopped in front of me. Conan gave me a smile, I just stared at his eyes and I got the chance to look at his angelic face.
"Can we talk?" he said. "We are already talking now" I replied.
He told me that he was hurt that someone he loves can't love him back like how he did. "So, that's why you ended your relationship with Leila?", I asked. "No. I am not referring to her, everything about me and Leila was just to make someone jealous and I was wrong when I did that. I am referring to you, Ezra". Conan said.
"Conan!" I uttered and I stared at his eyes while telling this."I am so sorry, please pardon me for breaking your heart. I didn't mean to. You are a friend, a very special friend. If I would choose between being your best friend or your girlfriend—I would choose to be your friend.
It's because you, Conan is already a part of my life. I can't imagine a life without you. I would choose to be your friend forever rather than to take the risk and end our friendship and be in a relationship with you at our very young age.
We are still young. If you really love me, you will wait until I am ready but if you fell in love with someone else. You have my support because that's what our friends are for. I smiled at him and I left.
© angie
It was lunch time when I was waiting for Conan in our school canteen. "Ezra!", Conan called my name. "Meet Leila, my girlfriend" He added. I was surprised to what he said but I tried to be nice and I smiled like everything is fine. But the truth is—I was hurt, I wish I was Leila who had his love and attention, I was insane of feeling this emotion.
He never told me that he courted someone. I was thinking that he was now hiding some things from me. So, since my friend Conan already has a girlfriend, I decided to put a limitation on how I treat him. I tried to avoid him and let the two of them to spend time for each other but deep inside, It feels like my heart is melting in sadness and in insecurity yet I have to be happy for him—because all I want was the best for Conan. That's how I showed my love. But it's like he doesn't notice that I am avoiding him.
Few months later, I heard that Conan and Leila already ended their relationship. I was so worried for Conan—I wondered if he was alright, if he was crying. I want to see him to know if he is okay, if he needed a friend to talk to. So, I picked up my phone and gave him a call but he never answered any of my 20 missed calls and 10 text messages.
"Knock, knock!"
I went to their house and her mom let me enter but Conan refused to talk to me.
It was Monday in the afternoon, I was standing alone by the corridor when someone stopped in front of me. Conan gave me a smile, I just stared at his eyes and I got the chance to look at his angelic face.
"Can we talk?" he said. "We are already talking now" I replied.
He told me that he was hurt that someone he loves can't love him back like how he did. "So, that's why you ended your relationship with Leila?", I asked. "No. I am not referring to her, everything about me and Leila was just to make someone jealous and I was wrong when I did that. I am referring to you, Ezra". Conan said.
"Conan!" I uttered and I stared at his eyes while telling this."I am so sorry, please pardon me for breaking your heart. I didn't mean to. You are a friend, a very special friend. If I would choose between being your best friend or your girlfriend—I would choose to be your friend.
It's because you, Conan is already a part of my life. I can't imagine a life without you. I would choose to be your friend forever rather than to take the risk and end our friendship and be in a relationship with you at our very young age.
We are still young. If you really love me, you will wait until I am ready but if you fell in love with someone else. You have my support because that's what our friends are for. I smiled at him and I left.
© angie
