I always knew I loved to write and I always stuck to poems and quotes. But no matter what I write I always hope that it can help somebody else in some small way with what they're going through in life. well this morning it occurred to me. I've been through a lot of hell. seems more time goes on the less and less good I experience I can't remember the last time I had a great memory. although I take full responsibility for me and mine; it has to be said that not everything I experience is deserved. I'd also like to warn people that if they do not prefer hearing raw truth that that is all they will find here so they might want to turn back now . Having said that I'd like to write about it in hopes that someone else might see that they're not going through it alone. if nothing else good can come out of my experience on this Earth at least there will be that so that somebody else doesn't have to feel as alone as I do. so here goes.
it's December 1st 2022 and me and the guy that I'm seeing are sitting in the car because we're both homeless at the time and we have nowhere else to chill and we're pulled into a storage unit property where I had my stuff stored. we had just finished being sexually intimate for lack of better words and I got off of him and was sitting in the driver's seat and he was in the passenger seat and all the sudden he got real quiet and just started staring out the window and pouting about something. so of course naturally ask him what's wrong and he just says "nothing" and continues to stare out the window. so at this point of course I'm not going to let it go because we just finished having sex and all the sudden something's wrong and I'm wanting to know what the hell it is; was it me? did I do something wrong ?what is going on? Immediately after sex he just got into a bad mood? so I can continue to ask what's wrong? what's wrong ?and that's when he flipped out on me. he pulled me down over the middle console and laid on top of me and was screaming at me and somehow I ended up in the passenger seat and he in the driver seat and then he busted my lip and grabbed me by the throat and spit in my face and that's when I flipped out and I swung and connected and hit him back and started screaming at him for spitting in my face because to me that was just the lowest form of disrespect there was and it was that right there that broke my heart so I spit back in his face and then he got out the driver side and walked around to the passenger side drag my half-naked body halfway out the car and punched me in the back of the head about four or five times and then pulled me the rest of the way out of the car. still half naked and went and got in my driver's seat shut the door and I'm just laying there crying thank God I grabbed a long winter coat that I had in the in the passenger seat and put it on and then I walked up to the storage unit where I had my stuff stored and sat down in front of the door of it and just started crying my heart out and he pulls up and takes the rest of the keys off besides my car keys and throws them to me and burns off so I open up the storage unit and I go inside and I lay on the couch that's in there and I cry and I cry and I cry and weep broken hearted for about 20 minutes straight and then it occurs to me that I can't let it let him take my car I can't let him steal my car he can't have my car too so I get on a bicycle first I put on pants of course and then I get on a bicycle and I ride about a mile to my nearest friend's house so that I can call the police needless to say we end up getting my car back that night and he goes to jail this will be the second dude that has been incarcerated due to the fact of putting their hands on me. this is something I'm not proud of this is something I feel like I should be ashamed of but I know that's not right I know it's not my fault there are some situations where maybe people deserve things but I can tell you with 100% honesty that in those situations I did not deserve it I can also tell you that this was not the first or the second or the third incident of this dude putting his hands on me but this was the first time that I got the cops involved and it was for the fact that he took my car and I knew I wouldn't get it back otherwise and it's the only thing I had for god sakes it's what I lived in it had most of my personal belongings and clothes in it. now the back story to why the sudden change of mood in him was because he was also seeing another girl and while he was hanging out with me that girl went to jail and so in his mind he blamed me for her being in jail because if he wasn't messing around with me she wouldn't have been home at the time when they came looking for her and she wouldn't have been caught and that is also why he spit in my face mind you this is a guy that I was in love with this is a guy that I'm still getting over this also a guy that is still sitting in jail right now locked up with that same chick in the same jail and I'm sure they are a couple now.
© Warrior/Goddess