1 views
the Tainted
Chapter One
"...So you see officers, it was just a misunderstanding understanding. I didn't serve anyone all these donkeys. I merely ate them myself. I don't know where the ones you ate came from."
Officer Poccifer scratched the roof of his mouth with his gun before finally dislodging a pesky piece of ass he had eaten earlier. He spit it out and it hit the newly painted, but ruined back wall of Trustworhys favorite room.
About two hours ago the constables had begun to bang on his door with gusto.
"Open the goddamn door you piece of shit!"
Trustworthy sat up from his afternoon pcp nap with a startle at the racket.
"..Mom?" he questioned. she wasn't due back from the penitentiary till a lot of years later.
"No! Fuck you! it's the Law. We're ANGRY and we might hurt you! Open the door or we're definitely gonna hurt you! Baaad!!!" They bellowed and grunted. He could hear some of them replacing the batteries on their tasers through the door.
"Oh my. Just a moment."
Trustworthy sprang up from his wet couch and removed the broken spring that had entered his back near his supple buttocks.
He opened the door and in flew past him and over him several police officers. They were trampling and tripping all over his person and expensive antiques, almost in a panic.
"Shit the god-damned door ye bloody blithering blathersmites! Or I'll have your wages and yer hides!" Shouted Captain Overseas, the most decorated officer and disticnt head of precinct 54.
His men slammed the door shit and then shut before grabbing anything that wasn't nailed or glued or just stuck to the floor and creating a barrier.
"Are you men alright? Can I get you anything? Biscuit?" Trustworthy asked.
Officer Poccifer grabbed Trustworthy by his ears and slammed him against the wall.
"You can tell us what the hell it was you put in that feast you son of a bitch.." he growled.
"I -"
"What kind of biscuits?" said Inspector Ondatake. His stomach grumbling so hard it caused his shirt to wrinkle. He had contracted a tapeworm from a shady record studio.
Two of the other officers kicked him in the back hard enough to send the inspector flying into the wall next to Trustworthy before he could explain his famous recipe for biscuits.
"My favorite wall!" Trustworthy screamed.
It was then that a crack formed where Inspector Ondatake had crashed. His brain looked funny. Also, a crack had formed in the wall.
Slowly it got bigger, she said.
Lieutenant Rent was the only female swat member on her squad. She stood 7 foot 9 if she was an inch and she weighed 390 lbs of hard brick muscle. Every tendon and vein on her frame pulsated as she took a step toward, laying her gaitlin gun daintly on the ground.
"I'm gonna be square with you Trustworthy. Outside of these walls is a rabid mob of ... people. Or at least they used to be. There's something off about em. They're foaming at the mouth. Eyes, bloodshot like a hippie on a Tuesday. Theys growlin. Back on my planet I saw this before. It wasn't pleasant and it sure as hell didn't end with a rainbow. Least not the kind folk like us are used to. It started when somebody ate something they weren't sposed ta. Ya get me? Now.. and I ain't accusing you o nothin. But I saw that crack in your wall. I saw inside. I saw, I say I say I saw a bunch of bones. Weird lookin bones. What'd you put in the church feast Trustworthy?"
Trustworthy was in dismay.
"I just had that wall painted.."
"Fuck your wall bitch!" Poccifer punched the wall with his best fist and a huge portion of it came crumbling down.
Piles upon piles of donkey bones Cascade from the suture, as if word from thine lips of a sudden temptation. There had to be like 10 thousand bones in there. that's wild.
Everyone stared at Trustworthy with accusing eyes.
"...well. It's kind of a long story."
Poccifer threw Trustworthy to the ground and started to suck at his teeth. Something clearly lodged and causing him quite the nuisance.
"You got two hours to tell us what happened ."
Tobias Trustworthy had some 'splainin to do.
© All Rights Reserved
"...So you see officers, it was just a misunderstanding understanding. I didn't serve anyone all these donkeys. I merely ate them myself. I don't know where the ones you ate came from."
Officer Poccifer scratched the roof of his mouth with his gun before finally dislodging a pesky piece of ass he had eaten earlier. He spit it out and it hit the newly painted, but ruined back wall of Trustworhys favorite room.
About two hours ago the constables had begun to bang on his door with gusto.
"Open the goddamn door you piece of shit!"
Trustworthy sat up from his afternoon pcp nap with a startle at the racket.
"..Mom?" he questioned. she wasn't due back from the penitentiary till a lot of years later.
"No! Fuck you! it's the Law. We're ANGRY and we might hurt you! Open the door or we're definitely gonna hurt you! Baaad!!!" They bellowed and grunted. He could hear some of them replacing the batteries on their tasers through the door.
"Oh my. Just a moment."
Trustworthy sprang up from his wet couch and removed the broken spring that had entered his back near his supple buttocks.
He opened the door and in flew past him and over him several police officers. They were trampling and tripping all over his person and expensive antiques, almost in a panic.
"Shit the god-damned door ye bloody blithering blathersmites! Or I'll have your wages and yer hides!" Shouted Captain Overseas, the most decorated officer and disticnt head of precinct 54.
His men slammed the door shit and then shut before grabbing anything that wasn't nailed or glued or just stuck to the floor and creating a barrier.
"Are you men alright? Can I get you anything? Biscuit?" Trustworthy asked.
Officer Poccifer grabbed Trustworthy by his ears and slammed him against the wall.
"You can tell us what the hell it was you put in that feast you son of a bitch.." he growled.
"I -"
"What kind of biscuits?" said Inspector Ondatake. His stomach grumbling so hard it caused his shirt to wrinkle. He had contracted a tapeworm from a shady record studio.
Two of the other officers kicked him in the back hard enough to send the inspector flying into the wall next to Trustworthy before he could explain his famous recipe for biscuits.
"My favorite wall!" Trustworthy screamed.
It was then that a crack formed where Inspector Ondatake had crashed. His brain looked funny. Also, a crack had formed in the wall.
Slowly it got bigger, she said.
Lieutenant Rent was the only female swat member on her squad. She stood 7 foot 9 if she was an inch and she weighed 390 lbs of hard brick muscle. Every tendon and vein on her frame pulsated as she took a step toward, laying her gaitlin gun daintly on the ground.
"I'm gonna be square with you Trustworthy. Outside of these walls is a rabid mob of ... people. Or at least they used to be. There's something off about em. They're foaming at the mouth. Eyes, bloodshot like a hippie on a Tuesday. Theys growlin. Back on my planet I saw this before. It wasn't pleasant and it sure as hell didn't end with a rainbow. Least not the kind folk like us are used to. It started when somebody ate something they weren't sposed ta. Ya get me? Now.. and I ain't accusing you o nothin. But I saw that crack in your wall. I saw inside. I saw, I say I say I saw a bunch of bones. Weird lookin bones. What'd you put in the church feast Trustworthy?"
Trustworthy was in dismay.
"I just had that wall painted.."
"Fuck your wall bitch!" Poccifer punched the wall with his best fist and a huge portion of it came crumbling down.
Piles upon piles of donkey bones Cascade from the suture, as if word from thine lips of a sudden temptation. There had to be like 10 thousand bones in there. that's wild.
Everyone stared at Trustworthy with accusing eyes.
"...well. It's kind of a long story."
Poccifer threw Trustworthy to the ground and started to suck at his teeth. Something clearly lodged and causing him quite the nuisance.
"You got two hours to tell us what happened ."
Tobias Trustworthy had some 'splainin to do.
© All Rights Reserved
