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Something And A Lot More
I don't recall the time I stopped calling you 'ate' and started calling you by the nickname I made just for you.
Maybe it was the time when it suddenly felt as though we were of the same age—a two-year age gap seems like nothing anyway—especially when I hit my late twenties, just like you.
Or maybe it was the time I felt I'd become more mature than you—when you continued trying to figure out life as if you never knew what you wanted to do, to become, or even where you wanted to be.
But just setting the record straight, I never lost my respect for you; you're still the older sister I look up to. You may have wondered what your purpose in life is at some point, and selfish as this may sound, the time you thought it wouldn't matter if you were present or not, for me, life would never be the same without you. I have never even imagined life without you in it.
Suddenly now, I remember the time a friend teased me about having a sister complex. I could have smiled at that thought, but then I miss him all of a sudden. Even when he was such a pain, even when plenty of times I had wondered if he hated me. But maybe, that's just the way he is. And this is the way I am, and I know better now, some things are better left unsaid.
I could have smiled, but then, I terribly miss you too.
Funny, but he will never hear me say that, and you will never hear me say it, not even let you read this.
Right now, I am having a hard time recalling the time you were not there for me. You've always been one call away. And suddenly, you're not. Well, you are, you still are, but quite different from what I am used to. If that makes sense.
Maybe I'm partly to blame. Who am I kidding? A huge part is on me.
But even when things have changed now, some things remain constant.
That I love you.
And I will always be here for you.
Another thing, I have always been uncomfortable when people give me a hug, but yours is different.
It is, and always will be, the only exception.
Things I've said here are better than my usual Happy birthday greetings. Except, you'll never read this. And I'd probably forget to greet you properly and just post a picture of you on Facebook if I'm in the mood.
Angels do exist. How do I know?
You're one.
That I clearly don't deserve, and yet, I'm still thankful.
Forever and always.
© euphemia
Maybe it was the time when it suddenly felt as though we were of the same age—a two-year age gap seems like nothing anyway—especially when I hit my late twenties, just like you.
Or maybe it was the time I felt I'd become more mature than you—when you continued trying to figure out life as if you never knew what you wanted to do, to become, or even where you wanted to be.
But just setting the record straight, I never lost my respect for you; you're still the older sister I look up to. You may have wondered what your purpose in life is at some point, and selfish as this may sound, the time you thought it wouldn't matter if you were present or not, for me, life would never be the same without you. I have never even imagined life without you in it.
Suddenly now, I remember the time a friend teased me about having a sister complex. I could have smiled at that thought, but then I miss him all of a sudden. Even when he was such a pain, even when plenty of times I had wondered if he hated me. But maybe, that's just the way he is. And this is the way I am, and I know better now, some things are better left unsaid.
I could have smiled, but then, I terribly miss you too.
Funny, but he will never hear me say that, and you will never hear me say it, not even let you read this.
Right now, I am having a hard time recalling the time you were not there for me. You've always been one call away. And suddenly, you're not. Well, you are, you still are, but quite different from what I am used to. If that makes sense.
Maybe I'm partly to blame. Who am I kidding? A huge part is on me.
But even when things have changed now, some things remain constant.
That I love you.
And I will always be here for you.
Another thing, I have always been uncomfortable when people give me a hug, but yours is different.
It is, and always will be, the only exception.
Things I've said here are better than my usual Happy birthday greetings. Except, you'll never read this. And I'd probably forget to greet you properly and just post a picture of you on Facebook if I'm in the mood.
Angels do exist. How do I know?
You're one.
That I clearly don't deserve, and yet, I'm still thankful.
Forever and always.
© euphemia
