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Healing
It is important to remember that it wasn't your fault if you have been sexually assaulted, whether you are a young person or an adult. Sexual violence is a crime regardless of where it occurs or who commits it. A sexual assault or violence can happen to anyone of any age: men, women, and children. In the victim's eyes, the extent of the sexual assault has little to do with how distressing they find it, or how violated they feel. Anyone affected should seek advice and support to understand their situation. There are lasting consequences for the victim of such a despicable and horrible crime. It is possible, however, for victims to move forward with their lives, without the rape affecting them in the way they live them. Getting through such a trauma requires tremendous strength and a very positive outlook.
Regardless of who the victim is, rape and sexual assault can have devastating effects on them. It isn't easy dealing with so many different emotions, which can often seem overwhelming - fear, anger, confusion, numbness, inability to make decisions, shock, rage, disbelief, panic. A lot of people that have been traumatized become withdrawn, depressed, not want to leave their homes, others may have panic attacks and be afraid to go outside. Some may go about their everyday lives as if nothing about what has happened changed, others may display anger and aggression. There is nothing abnormal about this. Following the rape, there is no right or wrong way to be. During this time, you need to behave in a way that makes sense to you so you will make it through.
As rape involves someone else taking control over you, try to get yourself back in control in the aftermath of the rape. It is common for well-meaning people to try to push you in one direction or another, to try to make decisions for you, and to suggest what behavior you should or should not exhibit. Many decisions will need to be made, so try to stay in control and make them when it is convenient for you. The abuser often makes victims feel that it was their fault for not fighting back, for going to the party, for trusting someone, for wearing what they wore. We must never forget that blame is always attributed to the perpetrator, not the victim. The chances are that if they fight back they will be hurt even further: this is the reason why victimized individuals tend not to fight back. The only thing you could do was to survive.
There is a possibility that you feel as if you are pulling away from your partner, that you do not want to be touched, and that you do not want the intimacy of a sexual relationship. It is possible to have flashbacks and feel panicked when you resume a sexual relationship. On the other hand, some victims are attracted to their partners because they desire a close relationship and a sense of safety. Every individual reacts differently, so you must go with your gut. The act of sex has no meaning to them after the rape, which is why some people have sex with multiple partners.
Be patient with yourself, time is a great healer and it may take time before you can be touched sexually. Time heals everything, so it can take a while till you can be touched sexually. You need to make your own decisions and choices. The healing process can take many forms. Don't listen to the people who tell you what's right, what's wrong, what should be done & whatnot. It's your pain and no one else knows it, so take whatever steps it takes to heal. Any person who is close to you, be it your family, friends, relatives, or your partner, can only tell you what they think of you, they cannot experience your state of body and mind.
Having patience with yourself is important. On some days, you may not feel like getting out of bed or doing anything. Please take your time and be kind to yourself after you are recovered. You have been in shock and shouldn't expect to be functioning like you were before. Speaking about how you feel is one way to get them out - be it to a loved one, a friend, a Helpline agent, a counselor, in a support group, or another way that feels comfortable for you. There are times when talking with others who have experienced rape or sexual assault may be helpful. If you are unable to access a support group, you can talk to them online. Getting emotions on paper is a therapeutic activity for some people - that is, instead of keeping them inside you, you can get them down onto paper. In many cases, victims find poetry to be particularly therapeutic as a way to express their feelings. There may be some people who find that going back to work helps them cope and gives them something else to focus on other than the rape, while there may be others who feel they need some time off from work. You need to decide what is right for you. You must be responsible for healing yourself, making your own choices, and making your own decisions.
If you think negatively, you will be dragged down - if you think positively, you will be able to move forward and heal. While trauma and pain can make it difficult to positively think, try to counter every negative thought with something positive.
It's important to remember that you have a right to take your time to heal. They can't make a judgment, nor should they be allowed to ask you questions? You cannot be asked about the time it will take to complete your recovery and put an end to this trauma. Depending on the injury, it may take weeks, months, or even years to heal. There is no gender-specific healing process. Anyone who has suffered knows that pain.
© Anjali
Regardless of who the victim is, rape and sexual assault can have devastating effects on them. It isn't easy dealing with so many different emotions, which can often seem overwhelming - fear, anger, confusion, numbness, inability to make decisions, shock, rage, disbelief, panic. A lot of people that have been traumatized become withdrawn, depressed, not want to leave their homes, others may have panic attacks and be afraid to go outside. Some may go about their everyday lives as if nothing about what has happened changed, others may display anger and aggression. There is nothing abnormal about this. Following the rape, there is no right or wrong way to be. During this time, you need to behave in a way that makes sense to you so you will make it through.
As rape involves someone else taking control over you, try to get yourself back in control in the aftermath of the rape. It is common for well-meaning people to try to push you in one direction or another, to try to make decisions for you, and to suggest what behavior you should or should not exhibit. Many decisions will need to be made, so try to stay in control and make them when it is convenient for you. The abuser often makes victims feel that it was their fault for not fighting back, for going to the party, for trusting someone, for wearing what they wore. We must never forget that blame is always attributed to the perpetrator, not the victim. The chances are that if they fight back they will be hurt even further: this is the reason why victimized individuals tend not to fight back. The only thing you could do was to survive.
There is a possibility that you feel as if you are pulling away from your partner, that you do not want to be touched, and that you do not want the intimacy of a sexual relationship. It is possible to have flashbacks and feel panicked when you resume a sexual relationship. On the other hand, some victims are attracted to their partners because they desire a close relationship and a sense of safety. Every individual reacts differently, so you must go with your gut. The act of sex has no meaning to them after the rape, which is why some people have sex with multiple partners.
Be patient with yourself, time is a great healer and it may take time before you can be touched sexually. Time heals everything, so it can take a while till you can be touched sexually. You need to make your own decisions and choices. The healing process can take many forms. Don't listen to the people who tell you what's right, what's wrong, what should be done & whatnot. It's your pain and no one else knows it, so take whatever steps it takes to heal. Any person who is close to you, be it your family, friends, relatives, or your partner, can only tell you what they think of you, they cannot experience your state of body and mind.
Having patience with yourself is important. On some days, you may not feel like getting out of bed or doing anything. Please take your time and be kind to yourself after you are recovered. You have been in shock and shouldn't expect to be functioning like you were before. Speaking about how you feel is one way to get them out - be it to a loved one, a friend, a Helpline agent, a counselor, in a support group, or another way that feels comfortable for you. There are times when talking with others who have experienced rape or sexual assault may be helpful. If you are unable to access a support group, you can talk to them online. Getting emotions on paper is a therapeutic activity for some people - that is, instead of keeping them inside you, you can get them down onto paper. In many cases, victims find poetry to be particularly therapeutic as a way to express their feelings. There may be some people who find that going back to work helps them cope and gives them something else to focus on other than the rape, while there may be others who feel they need some time off from work. You need to decide what is right for you. You must be responsible for healing yourself, making your own choices, and making your own decisions.
If you think negatively, you will be dragged down - if you think positively, you will be able to move forward and heal. While trauma and pain can make it difficult to positively think, try to counter every negative thought with something positive.
It's important to remember that you have a right to take your time to heal. They can't make a judgment, nor should they be allowed to ask you questions? You cannot be asked about the time it will take to complete your recovery and put an end to this trauma. Depending on the injury, it may take weeks, months, or even years to heal. There is no gender-specific healing process. Anyone who has suffered knows that pain.
© Anjali
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