Once upon a time, there was a man named Tom who was known for his bad jokes. He loved nothing more than making people groan with his terrible puns and jokes...

One day, Tom's wife came to him with a serious expression on her face. "Tom, we need to talk," she said. "I think you have a problem."

"What problem?"

Tom asked, confused...

"You keep making all these terrible jokes and puns all the time."

You're acting like a flamingo with one leg up, always trying to be funny. It's getting out of hand," his wife said.

Tom thought for a moment and then replied, "Well, if I'm a flamingo, then I'll just have to put my foot down."

His wife rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but chuckle at the pun. "See, that's exactly what I'm talking about!" she exclaimed.

Tom grinned and then thought of another joke. "Hey, what do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop!"

His wife laughed despite herself, but then she groaned as Tom continued, "And where does Batman go to the bathroom?

"The batroom!"

His wife just shook her head and walked away, but Tom couldn't help but smile to himself. He knew that he had a gift for terrible jokes, and he wasn't about to stop anytime soon...

Tom's love for terrible jokes and puns only continued to grow. He found himself scouring the internet for the latest and greatest in corny jokes, always trying to find the one that would make his wife groan the loudest.

But Tom was undeterred...

He had more jokes to tell. "Hey, why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!"

His wife couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the joke. "Okay, that one was actually kind of funny," she admitted...

Encouraged, Tom continued. "What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!"

His wife groaned but was secretly impressed by Tom's ability to come up with these terrible jokes on the spot...

"You know, maybe you should start a joke-telling business. I bet people would pay good money to hear your terrible

jokes."

Tom considered this for a moment before replying, "Nah, I don't think anyone would be willing to pay for my bad puns."

They're worth more as free entertainment!

Heh, heh, heh...

His wife just rolled her eyes and sighed, resigned to a life filled with terrible jokes and puns...

As they walked through the park,
Tom continued to make terrible jokes and puns, much to the delight of nearby children and the chagrin of their parents.

Tom said, to one of them, "Hey kid,
what do you get when you mix a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost?

A cocker-poodle boo.

The kids and their parents laughed,
so Tom, feeling encouraged, began rattling off an entire string of his puns and jokes to all who would listen...

Hey?

How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.

What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards? "Dill me in!"

How much money does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.

Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Dam!

Why did the chocolate chip cookie go to see the doctor?

He felt crummy.

What is cheese that doesn’t belong to you called?

Nacho cheese!

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims!

For Tom, there was nothing better than making people laugh, even if it was at the expense of his own dignity...

After all, there's nothing wrong with a little bit of humor in the world, no matter

how terrible it may be.




© Charles Kemp