Bernard Shaw was a king of his own in political satire and humor, although he was a great dramatist by profession. Sam Manekshaw was the great Field Marshal and chief of our army during the seventies when, under his command, Pakistan surrendered to India, and a new country Bangladesh was born. I thought of imagining a fantasy-like episode, involving these two Shaws. My imagination goes like this:

Bernard Show was writing a play for staging another drama. He thought of a strong and interesting character in his play that would make the audience sit erect throughout the play. He thought of many like Mussolini, Hitler, Alexander, Napoleon, Julius Caesar, and many such warriors and leaders but could not fit in the role he was imagining. Suddenly, it struck him “How about Indian army officer Manekshaw? At that time Sam was a young Indian colonel. A couple of years earlier, Manekshaw was recognized for his bravery and smart strategy when he led his regiment successfully in the Pagoda hills while fighting against the Japanese Imperial army during world war 1942. In this encounter, he was badly wounded by multiple bullets. But he recovered dramatically. Bernard admired him after reading the news about this. He wondered “In spite of different careers in life, Manekshaw and I share certain similarities”. He was right. Both names contained 'Shaw' in the end. Bernard Shaw was a polemicist, (one who engages in a controversial debate). Manekshaw, a brilliant military officer had a huge sense of humor and was controversial to some extent. He originally wanted to become a doctor but when his father declined his interest, Manekshaw, more out of a rebellious mood chose the army. Both wanted total freedom for giving their best.

Manekshaw fought wars, mostly outside India; Bernard Shaw fought many politicians and celebrities across the world, with his brilliant wisdom and knowledge which were soaked in wit and humor. Manekshaw held Bernard in high esteem and was his admirer. Bernard managed to establish contact with Manekshaw in India and requested him along with his wife to come to London to spend a few days with him. Luckily Manekshaw was preparing to avail a long holiday around that time. He gladly accepted Bernard’s invitation and went to London where Bernard Shaw arranged decent accommodation in a hotel for Manekshaw and his wife. Manekshaw knew Bernard’s simple lifestyle and asked him in a lighter vein “Sir, I am sure this hotel suit must have been arranged by one of your fans.” Bernard replied in his impeccable style “Rather, I arranged my fan to book you, this hotel accommodation”. Although Manekshaw enjoyed the hotel suit, he could not spend much time going around because Bernard wanted to discuss with him at his home only, which was on par with an ordinary home. Manekshaw found another bottleneck, Bernard was a vegetarian. So he was forced to eat only vegetarian food in the company of Bernard. Manekshaw once quipped “Sir, I wish we were vegetarians". Bernard matched him instantly "Your wish is granted, you can go to India and tell the people “We were vegetarians in London”. Manekshaw could not control his laugh.

Shaw inquired Manekshawabout his personal life. Manekshaw gave a detailed history of his past which Bernard listened to with keen ears. Bernard said, “While I make satire with my words of expressions you create impressions with your attire.” Manekshaw laughed loudly. When Manekshaw asked Bernard “How come, Sir, with all such name and fame you continue to live a simple life?” for which Bernard said, “ The reason is ‘simple’”. Manekshaw experienced another burst of laughter.

Bernard told him” Look, I am writing a play for my next stage drama and I have proposed a vital character in this play who will be more or less like you.” Manekshaw asked, “How about its nose, will it be the same as mine, like the woodpecker’s?”. Then it was Bernard’s turn to laugh. He said “why not, we have many people here who are woodcutters by profession but politicians by confusion.” Manekshaw chuckled at this comment and said “Mahatma Gandhi has started 'Quit India movement; it is becoming tougher for British to manage Indian people. I am confident that we will win our war of non-violence soon’. Bernard heard this and told, “What you tell the British in India, people tell me here often ‘Quit England”. But I won’t quit England till such time Englishmen understand what is wit.” This made Manekshaw giggle. Bernard quickly added, "Violence is good as long as it is without violence".

Bernard asked “You have not responded to me about my including your character in my next play”

Manekshaw replied “It will be my pleasure, Sir. I wonder how nice it would be if I were to enact that character myself in the play.” Bernard responded naughtily “In that case, the audience would suspect, going by your name, that I have one more beloved and my offspring in India, the country, which I have not visited so far.” Manekshaw threw his heavy wit-weight and said " But your Indian beloved could always visit you here, isn't it Sir?. Bernard literally hit Manekshaw at this and laughed uncontrollably.

Bernard thanked Manekshaw for giving his consent to include his character in his next play. He wished him “All the best in your future military endeavors and all the best for India to become an independent nation at the earliest. Convery my personal regards to Mahatma Gandhi, the child-like innocent leader”. Manekshaw wished him “Thank you, Sure, Sir, I wish you more nobles and laurels, in the near future”. Bernard in his unique manner said, “I don’t think that learned fools would think of a hardened fool for the second time and lose their hardly hard-earned money .”


© Joyram