Right before I go to sleep, I usually think of what happened that day. I think of problems I came across and how I might of been able to solve them or what I could have done better. I don't know exactly why but I have been doing this for as long as I can remember. I actually remember doing this exact thing one night.

I guess this tells me about myself that if I had time during the day I would be able to solve most of my problems then and there. I think it says, which I already know this about myself, that I'm too nervous. So if I'm too nervous then I can't take my time during the day. That's all.

That's all I would really need to do to be able to solve some of my problems. Not only that but that's all I really want to do anyway. To just be calmer. So this tells me that I need to calm down. To calm down and enjoy life. It tells me what I already know. It tells me what I want. What I already know I want.

That's what that told me, what I already knew. That's why I have already been working on it. That's how I have been relaxing more and have calmed down. That's why I have put the work into that for that exact reason.

That's exactly what I wanted ever since I was a kid.
© the wanderer