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Not me
There must be a place, far away, hidden, unrecognized that holds the ability to change you. A place no one had ever seen but deep down everyone wish for it to exist. A place where you step inside and like the waves at the brink of shore, touching your tiny little toes, it will change you completely, completely as a person.
Everyday we wake up and think it's us who are living but how wrong is that. We have never been us. We have always been someone else.
Someday we are completely the person we love, next day we are entirely the person we hate. Today I am the person who gives up, yesterday I was the person who stood straight to fight everything. In the end, we are never ourselves.

Standing in front of the mirror I realized I have died a long time ago and ahead of me stands a mixture of so many people, the people I love, the ones I hated and still hate, the one who had hopes for me and the one who wants me to make their wishes come true, colours of all the truths I ever told, shades of all the lies I ever hold. My body has scribbles of all the stories I've ever read, the ink spreads over me from all the secrets people shared with me. Today, I am never who I was when I was born. Today I am the combination of every human who came in my life and how miserable it can be that I do not recognize who I am. All I see is people, people and people over me.

I can still point out the hollow on my face just below the eyes where my first tear fell out when I felt betrayed for the first time and the curves of the smile line that emerged when I looked at someone I love. The pigment on my hands when someone held my hand because they trusted me, the curve around my neck when someone hugged me when I supported them, the scar on my chest when people left me when I needed them the most, the wound on my temple when I throw myself disregarded, hopeless that good times will never come. Today I am everything I have ever gone through but not the one who I was created.

Look at yourself. Don't you see the same scars over and over on yourself who appeared when you kept giving chances and chances to people who kept hurting you in so many ways. Don't you see that spots around your eyes who shine brightly when you think about that one person ?
Call me by many names because I am not just a single person, I am every human who ever touched me with care or disrespect, every tear I've ever shread and every giggle I ever made.


When I look at the sky, I think, how wonderful it might be to stay at the same place like the stars. Not moving, not changing, just staying, holding hands and never letting go, smiling from top of the world over all the silly creatures that lie down. How magnificent it would be to never change. Yet today, I am someone I do not recognize and it is terrible and it is killing me, yet I stand in front of this mirror and create more hollows on my face, as the salt water drips down my face, leaving a new story, creating something new, erasing some more of me.

©SakuraSakka
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