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Not Really A story (what I've been working on)
(Hey everyone so this is one of the things I've been working on in addition to the 4th chapter of my story, it's labeled in my docs as I remember a good feeling, and talks in one sentence each about some but not all of my best memories from my life as a way of cheering myself up,not necessarily in order, enjoy).
I remember the feeling of curling up with a book for the first time. I remember the feeling of buying my own for the first time (and thinking how scary the store escalator was). I remember successfully memorizing my address for the first time. I remember the more personal or comforting back porch talks with my mom after a long day. I remember when I successfully helped win a softball playoff game (although I lost the championship later in the day under basically the same circumstances as the first.) . I remember the first last day and the last first day (and vice-versa) of school. I remember the Speech Debate and Acting program never being brave enough to do anything but the last. I remember track and field trying the shot put and failing and doing slightly better but still ultimately feeling like a failure at a 100 meter dash. I remember my creative writing and typing classes being the only classes I ever really both liked and did well in, in high school. I remember the first day of dance class when I was in third grade. I remember the day I first felt understood. I remember the first I ever felt like I understood, even a little. I remember the first time meds felt like they worked for my mental health. I remember the day I brought Suzie the cat home. I remember the first time seeing myself or someone who was a little like me being represented even remotely correctly or as a decent or morally upright person. I remember the first time that one was actually a person that was interesting to read, watch, or was someone who was enough like me to actually look up too, and immediately latched onto it. I remember the first time being told that you exist therefore you are valid, something I desperately needed to learn. I remember the feeling of not being like other girls fading as I realized maybe it's because I wasn't a girl, and also realizing how shitty the statements of I'm not like other girls really were. I remember the first time I went to a therapist who got what I was going through with my mental health. I remember the last day I thought my parents should stay or belong together, I was about 6-8. I remember people coming to visit me in the hospital in first grade when I was sick. I remember the first time I painted. I remember the first time I drew. I remember my first snow. I remember my favorite shows from when I was younger. I remember the first time I went against the grain. I remember the first time I truly stood up for myself. I remember the only toxic friend I remember ever having being cut off as though a breath of fresh air was rolling in. I remember learning to be okay with not being the baby. I remember the first time people treated me as a semi responsible adult. I remember coming out the first time in regards to my sexuality. I remember when I eventually came out as a term that usually falls under the trans umbrella. I remember the first time I talked with my dad in 4 years. I remember getting very lucky on a very important school test. I remember the Valentine's day before the pandemic when I graduated and we went to get pizza afterwards, before our world was forever changed.
I remember the feeling of curling up with a book for the first time. I remember the feeling of buying my own for the first time (and thinking how scary the store escalator was). I remember successfully memorizing my address for the first time. I remember the more personal or comforting back porch talks with my mom after a long day. I remember when I successfully helped win a softball playoff game (although I lost the championship later in the day under basically the same circumstances as the first.) . I remember the first last day and the last first day (and vice-versa) of school. I remember the Speech Debate and Acting program never being brave enough to do anything but the last. I remember track and field trying the shot put and failing and doing slightly better but still ultimately feeling like a failure at a 100 meter dash. I remember my creative writing and typing classes being the only classes I ever really both liked and did well in, in high school. I remember the first day of dance class when I was in third grade. I remember the day I first felt understood. I remember the first I ever felt like I understood, even a little. I remember the first time meds felt like they worked for my mental health. I remember the day I brought Suzie the cat home. I remember the first time seeing myself or someone who was a little like me being represented even remotely correctly or as a decent or morally upright person. I remember the first time that one was actually a person that was interesting to read, watch, or was someone who was enough like me to actually look up too, and immediately latched onto it. I remember the first time being told that you exist therefore you are valid, something I desperately needed to learn. I remember the feeling of not being like other girls fading as I realized maybe it's because I wasn't a girl, and also realizing how shitty the statements of I'm not like other girls really were. I remember the first time I went to a therapist who got what I was going through with my mental health. I remember the last day I thought my parents should stay or belong together, I was about 6-8. I remember people coming to visit me in the hospital in first grade when I was sick. I remember the first time I painted. I remember the first time I drew. I remember my first snow. I remember my favorite shows from when I was younger. I remember the first time I went against the grain. I remember the first time I truly stood up for myself. I remember the only toxic friend I remember ever having being cut off as though a breath of fresh air was rolling in. I remember learning to be okay with not being the baby. I remember the first time people treated me as a semi responsible adult. I remember coming out the first time in regards to my sexuality. I remember when I eventually came out as a term that usually falls under the trans umbrella. I remember the first time I talked with my dad in 4 years. I remember getting very lucky on a very important school test. I remember the Valentine's day before the pandemic when I graduated and we went to get pizza afterwards, before our world was forever changed.
