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To my worst self yet.
Thank you to the version of me who tried.
The version who tried loving someone even if it didn't work out.
It is hard right now, I know.
The feeling of being left, and not being chosen.
The fact that the person who you loved, decided to walk away and hold someone else's hand. The disrespect, anger, and lies were too much.
The feeling that it left you, even if it has been six months of crying every night wondering why it was done to you.
The person you love? Just walked away, and happy, not knowing the pain that was left within you.
It wasn't the fact that you couldn't accept to yourself that things have ended. It was the fact of HOW things ended.
The person you once knew, who made you feel loved, valued, beautiful, and lucky. They suddenly made you feel they are now just a memory. Questioning if there was something ever real to what you had with him.
The person you love, is now trying to love someone else better.
The person you love, is now moving on with that person, and left you behind.
The person left you behind, when the last words he said when he yelled at you was that, he still love you, and that he isn't leaving but he wasn't happy.
But he did leave.
It hurts everyday. I know.
A part of you just wants to forget.
but we cannot.
All we can do, for us, is to thank the version of me who tried. It might take a while again to see that version of us, but I hope she comes back to herself, and not lose herself ever again. So I hope, you listen to your heart, when it tell you to just love yourself again.
To the person I loved the most so far yet, I have poured so much love onto you, that I cannot be mad at you no matter how much pain you have left within me.
Yet, i have to learn how to be mad at you. I gave a version of me that I can never give to anyone else anymore. Someone else, deserved that, more than you.
So again, thank you for the version of me who tried to love. Instead of thanking the person that I love.
This version of me is the worst one yet, because I knew I had so much regret.
I could have been better.
But most of all, I could have chosen someone better.
© xcxexcxex
The version who tried loving someone even if it didn't work out.
It is hard right now, I know.
The feeling of being left, and not being chosen.
The fact that the person who you loved, decided to walk away and hold someone else's hand. The disrespect, anger, and lies were too much.
The feeling that it left you, even if it has been six months of crying every night wondering why it was done to you.
The person you love? Just walked away, and happy, not knowing the pain that was left within you.
It wasn't the fact that you couldn't accept to yourself that things have ended. It was the fact of HOW things ended.
The person you once knew, who made you feel loved, valued, beautiful, and lucky. They suddenly made you feel they are now just a memory. Questioning if there was something ever real to what you had with him.
The person you love, is now trying to love someone else better.
The person you love, is now moving on with that person, and left you behind.
The person left you behind, when the last words he said when he yelled at you was that, he still love you, and that he isn't leaving but he wasn't happy.
But he did leave.
It hurts everyday. I know.
A part of you just wants to forget.
but we cannot.
All we can do, for us, is to thank the version of me who tried. It might take a while again to see that version of us, but I hope she comes back to herself, and not lose herself ever again. So I hope, you listen to your heart, when it tell you to just love yourself again.
To the person I loved the most so far yet, I have poured so much love onto you, that I cannot be mad at you no matter how much pain you have left within me.
Yet, i have to learn how to be mad at you. I gave a version of me that I can never give to anyone else anymore. Someone else, deserved that, more than you.
So again, thank you for the version of me who tried to love. Instead of thanking the person that I love.
This version of me is the worst one yet, because I knew I had so much regret.
I could have been better.
But most of all, I could have chosen someone better.
© xcxexcxex
