God has abandoned me. I feel i am not his favourite child.
There is me who is always misunderstood by people, always reacting to outside circumstances, always getting frustrated with how deeply i have suppressed my desires, how i am unable to find a companion in 32 years, how i always desired to be independent but can't take the heat of the fast paced corporate life.
How everyday i am breaking down and trying to pick pieces of me and failing.
How my attention span is reducing on things that i spent long hours on.
How i feel less feminine everyday.
How i feel less desirable everyday.
They say if you want to attract your soulmate, you should make efforts to attain the qualities in yourself first...self love, self growth..
But the pace i am going with..i don't think i will ever meet someone. My whole life i have been wishing for a partner and now i feel my efforts are proving that may be no one is made for me.
may be I'm destined to be alone..may be i will never get fruits of my labour but will only struggle..May be I'm not god's favorite child.