I am going to reveal some truth
Kept the mask on to help in my youth
Hid all of the pain
Strapped inside of my brain
Till it popped and began to pour out
All that did was create more doubt
Couldn't see any skills
Put on too many pills
That began to numb who I was
I thought I was a lost cause
Didn't see any light
As I fought through the night
To feel anything other than what I did
I looked death in the face and made a bid
Thought I could control what I actually couldn't
Thought I could hear what I actually shouldn't
As the thoughts swarmed around
As I panicked on the ground
Writhing and shaking and weak
The truth I was trying to seek
I was seeing the shadows
Haunted by loud, eerie echoes
Just feeling like I couldn't see
Just trying to keep being me
One day I learned what it actually was
Hung my head down in shame cause
I knew I was ill
But it hurts to know still
To this day I still hide it away
I don't let them see
I just keep being me
But me is not actually there
Maybe it is, but way down under there
Sometimes I can't tell
I just know I'm not well
Yet I try to bring peace
I try to give hope
As I fight for relief
As I pull on the rope
Two sides fighting each other all day
Every time I awake
I have to find a way
To continue to be
And as I fight for the peace
I so desperately seek
I am burnt more and more into ash
Until I just start to feel a crash
And then I go numb
Hear the beat of the drum
As I fall into flame
Give myself all the blame
Yet knowing I didn't choose this
I want to create more bliss
Yet sometimes I can't feel
What is actually real
When I don't even know if I'm there
Sometimes I just zone out and stare
I'm not all there myself
So how could I help
It's a wonder I guess
Just get more rest
One day I'll be free
And I'll find that peace
That I so like to preach
Because I know it gives hope
And it's loving and it's kind
As the pain burns my mind
Yet I still want them to be free
I still want them to find peace
I still want them to be okay
As I scream and rot myself away
© Sierra321