I feel drained, helpless, numb, damaged and unsure of what to do. I did not expect that i would be this overwhelmed. Everything is too much for me. I feel like i can't take it anymore. I want to give up. I don't want to keep fighting. I have been constantly called a failure and i feel like i have lost my friends. I can't find a shoulder to lean on because am scared i won't find that comfort i need. So instead i just write it down and try find comfort in my own words. I want to tell myself it's going to be okay. I want to tell myself that i am strong enough. That i can get through this because it's only just a phase. I don't want people to see me cry. To see me broken. I hate being vulnerable because people always seem to take advantage. So here i am. Sitting in a smelly toilet crying and writing this. In the end i know i will be okay. But right now i just feel lifeless.