My smiles and laughs as a child was mysterious at the age of 9 years old, I was confused about what the names meant for what I was being called. But for some reason I noticed that my eyes were drowning with falling tears,"What is going on,"I wondered thoughtfully. Something got my attention that I was being made fun of but why ?Feeling pain in my chest,Deep breathing basically this is called being heart broken.Welcome to hell retarded,Slow,And goosebumps. I had bad acne in school and a learning disability so those were the names I was called for 10 years at school and home, Even on the streets. My mama even threw those words at me every now and then but from her it hurt the most !! Feeling loved was something I never felt until I closed my eyes and dreamed. I always looked forward to bedtime. I had a sister and two brothers who treated me like crap as well as the black sheep I felt unwanted, Like the ugly duckling being tortured out of the pack. Long story short, Im 37 years old now and I hide every bruise,Scar,Dead tissues, And spots on me that I am ashamed of but I still live on normal. I been hurt in every source of emotions and it left me insane in my mind growing up, My mind became fictional thoughts. A bipolar disorder and depression of anxiety B is what I was told. I dont see what others see and it is weird but my past still haunts me day by day and night by night and basically it is getting worse.......My story aint over yet !!!!
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