I watched her as she slept, her body was still, just barely moving in perfect rhythm with her breathing. Her desert hair was a beautiful mess thrown across the pillow. The thin blanket was tucked beneath her chin as if she were a child and the way her eyelids fluttered as her soul was finally at peace for the evening. It had been a while, I could tell. I’d been in this position once before, watching over someone. I don’t like the responsibility of taking care of others, that’s when accidents happen. I shook the memory from my brain, this time I’ll do it right, I promise. If I can’t protect her then I will die trying.
I laid back on the bed, cramming a cheap pillow under my head and counted the mystery stains that plagued the motel ceiling. Thirty five. There were thirty five different stains. I’d stayed in much nicer places than this, matter of fact I’ve also stayed in worse. Park benches, cars, ditches, alleys, garages, attics etc…So I won’t complain too much about the condition. Lennon doesn’t seem bothered, oddly enough she hasn’t seemed bothered by many of the things I do, she had a lot of questions at first but now she’s at ease. I glance over at her perfectly curled up body snuggling the sheets. For some reason that made me smile. I decided I was in need of fresh air, so I stumbled towards the screen door at the back. The handle was a rusty mess and left stains across my palms. I shook my head. Typical.
The sky was bold and as black as coal, the stars stood out, staggered in different directions. Part of me wanted to run back inside and shake Lennon awake so she could come see this, but I didn’t. She needs the rest, I told myself. A breeze startled my spine, awaking every cell in my body. It was nice though. I took a much needed breath and sat down on the sidewalk, reached into my sweatpants pocket and pulled out a cigarette-lighting it. I thought about what was next from here. I tried to push away the thoughts but they just kept coming, tearing down distractions. Exhaling a cloud of smoke and twirling the cigarette between my fingers. I felt like I was going to spiral, the tears stung but wouldn’t fall. I screwed up, it was my fault, it’s always my fault. It should have been me! I bolted up from the sidewalk and chucked my still lit cigarette against the concrete. “Shut up!” I yelled out loud to my inner thoughts. Stop. I told myself. Just stop. Breathe. You’ve been doing this all your life, you’ll figure something out. It’s true, I had. I nodded to my own gut advice then leaned against the side of the motel. The stars really were some kind of magical this evening. I’ve always found comfort in the many constellations. Like me, they all had twisted backstories. It’s a strange way to relate, I know, but it's what I got. I exhaled slowly, remembering the strength of Orion. The breeze shifted a second time, whispering lullabies in my ear, a subtle reminder that I too needed sleep.
reluctantly I showed myself back inside, quietly shutting the door behind me so as to not wake Lennon. Crawling into bed I gathered what little of the sheet around me as I could and tried to make myself comfortable. It was rather chilly in here. As I closed my eyes, arms appeared, soft pale arms, wrapping around my chest. She’s wonderful. My thoughts were no longer fist fights and shattered glass, they became butterscotch melting into the pillow. My skin was no longer felt the cold, there was a warmth as comforting as one's favorite song holding me together.

**This is a short chapted I've written for something I'm currently working on. I posted it here for some feedback.


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