I want you to have a good night sleep, away from unwanted thoughts that had bothered you for a long time.

I want you to feel that your life doesn't need to feel pressured just because we are aging.

One day, I want you to meet someone who will share your boring days, your quiet days, and your happy days.

Even if it isn't me, I want to feel that wanting these things for you, is the best way I can silently express my love for you, without you knowing it, without you understanding it.

I guess I do not want you to understand me. I do not want you to understand why I feel this way towards you.

My definition of love, is perhaps, different from yours, that you find mine suffocating in your world.

Maybe, the things I also want for you, are the things that I want to want for myself.

I want to feel them with you, but I can't force you to look at me.

So having these hopes for you silently, gives me comfort that I am caring for you, even if I am hurting at the same time.

You never asked me to feel this way, but I still chose to keep this feeling.

If the universe decides for us to stop having the connection, then I will try my best to understand.

No matter how much I try to avoid you, nor reach out, I surrender myself to the universe, and I hope it leads me to where I should be.

Whether the path that is meant for me, is towards you, or away from you, I want to feel that my path makes sense in the end.

I want to feel that I stop asking myself why you never took the chance when I was here the whole time.

If i silently walk away, you will never reach out.

So, I am ending this writing, by saying, "I hope someday you think of me, and genuinely miss me for who I am. I hope one day, you look back, and realise that I did fall in love with you. The whole you, your bad side, and your good side. "

© cece