...

14 views

Mental Health : Suppression
"Suppression... In psychology, suppression is the act of stopping yourself from thinking or feeling something. It is generally presumed to be ineffective because even if you suppress or hold back an emotion, like anger, that feeling returns with a vengeance."

In my understanding, together with my experience, I strongly believe that suppression is linked to depression, oppression and mind attack.

Suppression may seem like an unnecessary term but trust me, there are many times when we suppress our feelings, reactions to things and actions towards those situations; we suppress our feelings so much that we end up spewing out lava worse than the volcanic eruptions at Mount Tombora (regarded as the volcano with the deadliest eruptions in history-- pretty dramatic! But it's fitting).
On the other hand, calmness and suppression should never be mistaken for each other.

Can you recall the times someone really pissed you off? You smiled to their face then you got home so angry, that you ruined your evening and you destroyed the positive aura around you?. So, would you consider that calm or suppressed emotions? Calmess is not displaying or feeling nervousness, anger, or other strong emotions, still think you're calm? You end up damaging yourself while that person thinks it's okay to use you as a punching bag.

I recall the times when I was completely unhappy about something and I suppressed those feelings so much, to perhaps, "maintain peace" around me. I sure did succeed at maintaining the outward peace but how badly did it gnaw at me on the inside?. Suppression never works well. As the dictionary definition highlights, it sure comes back with a vengeance.

Let's think of our mind as a delicate egg. Metaphorically, the membrane is made up of strong materials like kindness, patience, love, tolerance, understanding, integrity and self-worth. At first, it's immaculate but as you manducate, it begins to crack and lose strength, an impermeable membrane becomes vulnerable to attack.

What kinds of attack, you may ask? That familiar voice in your head that tells you that you are not worth anything, you can't complete that task, "you won't succeed at accomplishing your goal". Or the other manipulating voice that tells you that you are superior, the people around you don't deserve you and you should not trust them. Recognise these? The dream killer or the self-appraised "pity party" host? Both of these will only introduce "self-destruction" and will have you isolated from the outside world. It will leave you so badly destroyed that you will not have one worthy connection or friendship to call healthy because you have become so torn away from everything "normal" and "healthy".

Don't listen to them! I've listened to both, for years. All they do is allow depression, anxiety and oppression to clutch onto you till you beg on your knees for dear life. Have you noticed that weak minded individuals are the most susceptible to pain? I used to be a weak minded individual too, who did recognise pain in another person and I have allowed them to inflict pain on me too, be it emotional or psychological, pain is pain. We become slaves to it.

As we allow suppression to chomp on our symbolic egg, we become weaker. We allow ourselves to be spoken to in a disrespectful manner, we allow manipulation, we welcome being taken for a ride and hell, sometimes we even start believing that the "ride" is worth it or we are deserving of it. When will we stop? When you become addicted to turmoil? Or when you're too numb from it? The initial suppression we feel gives birth to acceptance of oppression.

Will you become so egotistical for the world, just to self-loathe behind close doors? Are you afraid that if you show someone your weakness, they would see you as you see yourself?. Incorrect, My Dear, only you see yourself in that way. There is good in us all, we just have to find it and maintain it. We have to keep our egg safe from outward harm.

Depression and anxiety are by far the worst killers of youth, life and general happiness. Whether you are aware that you suffer from a condition like depression, it's very real and you should really dig within to find the core of the unseen but very present "monster". How many times have you fantasised about wearing the beautiful red dress in your cupboard? You had imagined that it would look so good on you, you actually put it on and now you feel horrible? Your physical appearance in the mirror doesn't correspond with the fantasy in your mind, "what would he say?" or "what would she think?". We are often so caught up with a web of thoughts that we fail to actually live.

Your family live through milestones, the people around you grow old but depression has you trapped so much that you have lost sight of reality? Sometimes you just have to sit down and embrace yourself, dig deeper down to your core till you figure out your triggers, what makes me feel sad? Angry? You are allowed to have boundaries!, you are allowed to say NO, you are allowed to not want to do something but you are NOT allowed to let your anxiety jeopardise your relationships, career or future.

Fix your membrane and repair your egg, don't wait for when it's too late and you spiral out of control from dithering. No more shilly-shallying and no more dilly-dallying. Make a vow today, make it to you, to fix you and to keep your emblematic egg safe from jeopardy. Do what makes you inhale in positivity and exhale self-doubt. Do what fills you with peace, joy, admiration and love. Draw pictures, feed fish, smile at strangers and don't forget to love the people around you!.

Embrace the person who does something worthy for you and return the favour. Just start today and you will become addicted to productivity. It's never as easy as it can be said or written but awareness and knowledge thereof are indeed the catalysts for change. I believe in you.

-Memoirs of Maryannable's Mashables

#MentalHealth #selfacceptance #MemoirsofMM