I'm afraid this is it for me. That lost feeling engulfed me. Trying to hide my feelings of dispare . Overwhelming feeling of unwanted an unloved,back 5o over thinking. My mind is running 1,000 miles per hour,

***with everything that I hate about myself, from my image to who I've become. Why do I gotta be so broke always picking up the pieces of my self patching open wounds and restitching old scars that has reopened.Im never gonna be enough for anyone with all my insecurities. No one will ever stay, I'm way to broken, at some point everyone leaves. I understand thats not hard to see that I'm to broke. it becomes to much to deal with even for me. my depression, anxiety an all the abuse that stains who i once use to be. I hate who I am. Broken an useless, Shit I don't even wanna be who I am. wishing i can toss who I become an revive who I once use to be. I hate every broken part of my self, everyone I care about leaves and leaves me more in pieces.someone please just take all my broken parts an remove them or kill the new me cause she's slowly killing me anyways. Thought I was saved but depression and anxieties hand grabbed me again and pushes and destroying any happiness that I have. Finally find my place an my other half, the love of my life an now I feel my depression has the upper hand, slowly destroying what happiness we share.leaving me feeling alone and cold struggling to keep my head above water. gasping for air, crying in pain alone. afraid no one's hands coming to save me again......

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To Be continued
© carmenC