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Friend Zoned!
Introduction: This is a comedy sketch script rather than a story. Hopefully you'll still enjoy it.

Presenter: Welcome everyone. You are watching You Know When You've Been Friend Zoned! We have three lovely ladies just waiting to see who will either win them over or end up in the dreaded Friend Zone. Hello ladies, are you excited?

Girls: Yes we are!

Presenter: Fantastic! Let's see who the guy is who hopes to win you over! Here he is.

The guy makes his entrance and smiles nervously at the girls.

Presenter: So ladies, what do you think?

All three girls hold up cards saying: Freind Zoned!

Presenter: Oh I am sorry! You've been instantly Friend Zoned!

He goes to the first girl.

Presenter: So what influenced your decision?

First girl: He's just too nice isn't he?

Presenter: Well I don't know, you haven't given him a chance to speak yet. He might be just the bad boy you're looking for.

First girl: Oh I don't think so. He's just got that nice guy aura about him doesn't he?

Presenter: I see! So you can sense his niceness?

First girl: Yes. It's an ability of mine actually.

Presenter: Hmm. So what's so bad about being nice anyway?

First girl: Uh um. I can't really explain it. It's not something I can quite put my finger on. Weird?

Presenter: Yes it is!

He goes to the second girl.

Presenter: So what's your reason?

Girl 2: He just doesn't give me butterflies.

Presenter: Butterflies? That fluttery feeling in the pit of your stomach? Do you think that feeling gives you a true sense of who a guy really is?

Girl 2: Uhhh!

Presenter: I thought not!

He moves on to the third girl.

Presenter: And your excuse?

Girl 3: Well... He's like a brother to me, bless him.

Presenter: He's like a brother is he? You feel that close to him do you? Despite the fact he hasn't even spoken yet?

Girl 3: Well yeah. Look at him. He's adorable. I can't think of him as anything other than a brother. I mean (She shudders) It wouldn't be right.

Presenter: You do realise he isn't actually your brother?

Girl 3: Yeah, but still! ( She shudders again).

The presenter approaches the guy and puts a hand on his shoulder.

Presenter: I feel for you, buddy!

He faces the audience.

Presenter: So that's that everyone! Yet another guy condemned to the Friend Zone! Maybe one day we'll find a woman who isn't as shallow as the puddle of the teardrop of a friend zoned nice guy! Good night ladies and gentlemen.
© Andrew J Sinclair