First time we met, I was certain we were gonna be friends. He was different from the rest and we connected so quick it was like we were the best. I can't even recall anything I said to him that day, only that he left me with a positive mark and I couldn't appreciate him more.
Fast forward two years later, we met again. I couldn't for the life of me remember his name but his face I could never forget, it had left a mark on my soul. We talked again and caught up like old friends. It was as if we never left.
Then I realized I had feelings for him, feelings that went beyond the normal friends. I liked him and I liked him a lot but then that scared me. As friends, his habits never bothered but as a love interest my insecurities started creeping in. Would I be enough or would he want more, can I keep myself sane so he doesn't realize that I'm actually insane. What if I'm what he doesn't want, or someone he can never be proud of in front of his friends.
My demons appeared and I won't lie, I lost the fight to distrust. Its always been my relationship Achilles.
We still talk but now I can't tell the truth about my feelings because I'm a coward who is afraid of something that hasn't even happened.
Who knows, maybe we could have had something special.