I have dated numerous times but the relationship where we really connected had all to do with how naked I could be with this person. We are not speaking of clothes but the bearing of my soul.

Taking off clothes is easy cause I have made peace with my shape, size, look, and flaws but I don't know who I really am yet not fully. I certainly am not as comfortable with sharing my insecurities and flaws with those I don't think will cherish them. Plus it's often still organic and ever-changing so who sees it has to be gentle with it cause it's often still raw, untapped, and unexplored even for me.

My partner must be non-judgemental. The conversation must never feel like chastisement or being mocked. It must allow me to explore or dismiss the idea myself. People all want to feel validated even for their crazy. Give them that safe space you would want.

In relationships, lack of a safe space to share can become the rift that divides a couple. This rift becomes a wall,, then bridge, and then Straits. Resentment becomes the bridge's pillars and apathy eventually breaks it and it's  ruined.

When we share less of our dreams desires and fantasies because we have lost a safe space to share. Slowly we grow apart. It's the constant dismissal and rejection of who I am at different intervals. It may be a fleeting desire but they want the right to desire it, toy with it a little, and not be judged for it.

People think denying their true selves they just miraculous become better but the road to the better you want is often filled with weird turns best not judged by self or others but seen as wonderment on an interesting journey. Best to experience it and let it pass than fight with it  Allow your partner to explore themselves as should you and be supportive of the Journey together. 

Maria Collymore
Relationship Coach
June 28, 2020

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