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My so called third attempt
Dear dairy,
In 2022 for some reason I decided to pursue my career in civil services....all good... everyone happy.....but me with no idea of how my journey gonna be....just decided to leave my education in literature and started this preparation
I thought I'll do it.....I gave my first attempt under over enthusiasm of my parents....and obviously I knew I'll fail...so did I...I got only 20 marks.....but it never bothered because I never prepared...no efforts...no issues
As non serious as before but a little more serious...I just completed two static subjects and gave my attempt....I was a little hopeful...but I knew somewhere...it won't happen....so it did....I scored 49 ...but I improved.....so I was happy....but shattered
The second attempt left a deep wound inside my heart....I cried a lot....suicidal tendencies....anger..... everything the worst you can imagine I did it....but still I decided to continue this.....
Started afresh in 2023....I was all going good...my mock test results were satisfactory....86 marks in GS and 90+ in CSAT.....I knew I was prepared.....and this time I'll crack it down....
But you know there literally exist fate... chance... destiny.....The whole year preparation of mine will end in such way I never ever imagined in my worst dreams.....in my maximum capacity I thought that I'll fail...so what..I'll try again....but when I went from home....in between...a tractor hit the car
....traffic jam....I got late....still tried....next....a trolly tier punctured... another jam.....more delay....still full efforts....I reached the address at my admit card...but I found no one there....10 mins. we were just searching for the address....it was given a school .....near University.....at last at 9:16 I decided to reach university which was 30 min away.....I knew I won't be able to make it....still I tried to my best.....
See, it was university.....they didn't allow me... obviously I was late 9:25.......but last year students were allowed even at 9:30....but today they didn't.....my whole year wasted again.......what I'll do next....what will happen to me.....I don't know my diary...I think I'll prepare again.....but my parents.....Nani.....aalu..... everyone's hope shattered.....how will I face them.....Thanks to God they are so supportive...it's only they that stop me from breaking down
© Ritu
In 2022 for some reason I decided to pursue my career in civil services....all good... everyone happy.....but me with no idea of how my journey gonna be....just decided to leave my education in literature and started this preparation
I thought I'll do it.....I gave my first attempt under over enthusiasm of my parents....and obviously I knew I'll fail...so did I...I got only 20 marks.....but it never bothered because I never prepared...no efforts...no issues
As non serious as before but a little more serious...I just completed two static subjects and gave my attempt....I was a little hopeful...but I knew somewhere...it won't happen....so it did....I scored 49 ...but I improved.....so I was happy....but shattered
The second attempt left a deep wound inside my heart....I cried a lot....suicidal tendencies....anger..... everything the worst you can imagine I did it....but still I decided to continue this.....
Started afresh in 2023....I was all going good...my mock test results were satisfactory....86 marks in GS and 90+ in CSAT.....I knew I was prepared.....and this time I'll crack it down....
But you know there literally exist fate... chance... destiny.....The whole year preparation of mine will end in such way I never ever imagined in my worst dreams.....in my maximum capacity I thought that I'll fail...so what..I'll try again....but when I went from home....in between...a tractor hit the car
....traffic jam....I got late....still tried....next....a trolly tier punctured... another jam.....more delay....still full efforts....I reached the address at my admit card...but I found no one there....10 mins. we were just searching for the address....it was given a school .....near University.....at last at 9:16 I decided to reach university which was 30 min away.....I knew I won't be able to make it....still I tried to my best.....
See, it was university.....they didn't allow me... obviously I was late 9:25.......but last year students were allowed even at 9:30....but today they didn't.....my whole year wasted again.......what I'll do next....what will happen to me.....I don't know my diary...I think I'll prepare again.....but my parents.....Nani.....aalu..... everyone's hope shattered.....how will I face them.....Thanks to God they are so supportive...it's only they that stop me from breaking down
© Ritu
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