You stood on the altar watching your husband to be sweat profusely, you smile at him and you take a deep breath trying not to think a time you were truly happy, a time you didn’t know this man’s name and his hands haven’t made a home your body like it was his. The reason you hate hospitals, It was 4:00pm and You had just returned from your Bible class in church.
You were ten years old and as a growing child , you had strange feelings. Of course, you couldn't talk about this with your mother because you felt unholy, dirty, like the rag on her kitchen floor.
Your family had a gateman who was a member of the church as well, Mr. Samuel. He had a daughter a year older than You were.
You remember her name and her expression when You give her some of your father's Swedish chocolate. She’d talk with her mouth full, rolling her eyes like she had just seen God in the blackness of that chocolate.
"Your family enjoys oh, Bola"
You’d smile and urge her to eat slowly. Father had no idea You were feeding her, he thought since they were newcomers You would teach her about Jesus that's why he never interrupted the mid-evening sessions.
Chichi, yes chichi was her name, She always wore a shirt with a football patch on the front. It was a little torn by the side and You could see her stomach through the hole, sometimes You wanted to learn how to sew to patch her clothes. Sometimes You watched mother stir her food, you imagine if she’d eat well if you could stir the food like that, so you’d beg mother to let you turn the stir the soup. You would see her other expressions from other foods. You wanted to do a lot of things for her, back then you thought it was empathy but now you don't know.
You watched her look outside your window after eating the chocolate and she stared at her father sleeping.
"That's what my father was doing when your father was making money," She said to you pointing at Mr. Samuel.
You wished you had said
“my father should have slept more so he'd be happier like Mr. Samuel”
but You said nothing, you didn't want to interrupt chichi.
You never did, she had a lot of interesting stories to tell. she told you about a magazine of women naked underneath her father’s bed. You wonder why women would expose their bodies
“ our bodies are the temple of God”you told Chichi who nodded. You walked away from the window and you glared at her face, chichi had tiny lips and her cheeks would go red when she laughs. she was a pretty girl , she reminded you of your teacher in school. Miss Beth , she was the most beautiful person you knew at that time.
" Have you ever kissed someone," Chichi asked you
"No, I haven't and you?".
"Yes I kissed a boy in my school" she whispered to you and You felt anger lodging in your throat, maybe because she had kissed someone before you or Maybe because she kissed someone who wasn’t you ?
"How was it," You asked her
"His mouth tasted like rice," she said with a disgusting look on her face
"Rice?, Ewwww," You said in...