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2020 - My ENLIGHTMENT JOURNEY
2020 has been a very tough one for almost everyone.... what say guys???
But 2020 played a most crucial role in everyone's as well as in mine too. It has been a very painful, powerful, tremendous and worthy change for me. That's why I felt to share my experiences and the turn of events that took place in my life which made me who I am the present day.
Since childhood I have been an introvert. I used to be more to myself. I have friends but very few are close and dear to heart and sometimes the ones whom I thought to be real were proved to be the wrong ones... well.... its life isn't it??? Everything doesn't go as you have expected....
I used to be a very sentimental and emotional person. A sudden change in a person who is dear to me hurt me more. The life was like this and many people and many events took place which really challenged my strength. As I was more of a sensitive one I broke down. I didn't know what to do and where to do. I was completely dumbstruck on what to do in life. yet somehow the incidents have taught me and pulled me together giving me some valuable lessons which I can never forget for life.
Then there came 2020.... the starting of this one was asusual with new expectations and hopes for the upcoming experiences. As time went by I had to face certain events which challenged my self worth this time. There came two options to choose from. The first one was which I can be happy for a short period of time by compromising my self worth and mainly self respect..... the second one was a tough option.... if I chose this then I have to abandon the one which I crave for yet it preserves my self respect.
The decision was the most critical thing I made which changed my life completely. I was tired of the game of compromises and disappointments so this time I chose myself over everything.... not even expectations or the fear of break down or even the thing I was most obsessed with. I made a choice I chose myself and from there everything started.
It broke me again and again.... yet I tried my best to pull myself together..... cried almost every night... wanted to liberate myself from that pain and sufference..... I prayed Shiva each and every day to free me from the pain.
As days passed after the breakdown phase there came a self realisation phase. There I came to know and analyse how foolish and obsessed with something that never chose me. I realised it...... and the decision of mine to choose myself made me happy that moment if I wouldn't have chosen myself then I would be still the same overly sensitive emotional being who was blinded by certain obsessions. I thanked Shiva for making me realise and free myself permanently from those obsessions..... I was freed finally of every expectations and I stopped expectating anything from anyone from that day..... that thing itself liberated my sorrows and that day was the end for my miseries.
Next there came the self confidence phase in my life. I entered the writing world. I was more of a dancer from my school days.... but I never even in my wildest dreams thought that I will be a writer one day. The main reason behind my thinking of that sort was.... I know I have knowledge but I didn't have enough confidence how the world reacts if I share it and most important question was my knowledge worth sharing...... After contemplating deep deep and very deep..... I finally dared to take a chance..... I was not so extraordinary in words or vocabulary yet my knowledge was good.... as the confirmation came from Shiva.... I proceeded to share it. That's it..... I didn't know when that thing of mine Transcended me completely into a new me. I used to make a lot of mistakes at first... as the time went by... by writing and reading... I improved myself..... yes... time did it all...... and mainly SHIVA did it all and that boosted up my self confidence and made me understand my self worth.
Today as the year ends.... I can never forget the things that 2020 gave me.... the lessons.... the experiences..... the sorrows.... the pain.... the liberation.... the ascendance.... and TRUTH.... it taught me LIFE and made me understand what really life is and also it has also took me close to my Spiritual self... and helped in my Ascension to a very higher level in all aspects and most importantly it made me close to my SHIVA.....
So finally Thanking SHIVA for giving me such a great chance to change to understand myself and for leading me towards my life's true purpose and towards the better life and the actual TRUTH and my journey towards my ENLIGHTMENT!!!
Thank you 2020,
with love,
the girl whom you transformed from Sri Lasya to Lasya Shaivite.
© Lasya Shaivite
But 2020 played a most crucial role in everyone's as well as in mine too. It has been a very painful, powerful, tremendous and worthy change for me. That's why I felt to share my experiences and the turn of events that took place in my life which made me who I am the present day.
Since childhood I have been an introvert. I used to be more to myself. I have friends but very few are close and dear to heart and sometimes the ones whom I thought to be real were proved to be the wrong ones... well.... its life isn't it??? Everything doesn't go as you have expected....
I used to be a very sentimental and emotional person. A sudden change in a person who is dear to me hurt me more. The life was like this and many people and many events took place which really challenged my strength. As I was more of a sensitive one I broke down. I didn't know what to do and where to do. I was completely dumbstruck on what to do in life. yet somehow the incidents have taught me and pulled me together giving me some valuable lessons which I can never forget for life.
Then there came 2020.... the starting of this one was asusual with new expectations and hopes for the upcoming experiences. As time went by I had to face certain events which challenged my self worth this time. There came two options to choose from. The first one was which I can be happy for a short period of time by compromising my self worth and mainly self respect..... the second one was a tough option.... if I chose this then I have to abandon the one which I crave for yet it preserves my self respect.
The decision was the most critical thing I made which changed my life completely. I was tired of the game of compromises and disappointments so this time I chose myself over everything.... not even expectations or the fear of break down or even the thing I was most obsessed with. I made a choice I chose myself and from there everything started.
It broke me again and again.... yet I tried my best to pull myself together..... cried almost every night... wanted to liberate myself from that pain and sufference..... I prayed Shiva each and every day to free me from the pain.
As days passed after the breakdown phase there came a self realisation phase. There I came to know and analyse how foolish and obsessed with something that never chose me. I realised it...... and the decision of mine to choose myself made me happy that moment if I wouldn't have chosen myself then I would be still the same overly sensitive emotional being who was blinded by certain obsessions. I thanked Shiva for making me realise and free myself permanently from those obsessions..... I was freed finally of every expectations and I stopped expectating anything from anyone from that day..... that thing itself liberated my sorrows and that day was the end for my miseries.
Next there came the self confidence phase in my life. I entered the writing world. I was more of a dancer from my school days.... but I never even in my wildest dreams thought that I will be a writer one day. The main reason behind my thinking of that sort was.... I know I have knowledge but I didn't have enough confidence how the world reacts if I share it and most important question was my knowledge worth sharing...... After contemplating deep deep and very deep..... I finally dared to take a chance..... I was not so extraordinary in words or vocabulary yet my knowledge was good.... as the confirmation came from Shiva.... I proceeded to share it. That's it..... I didn't know when that thing of mine Transcended me completely into a new me. I used to make a lot of mistakes at first... as the time went by... by writing and reading... I improved myself..... yes... time did it all...... and mainly SHIVA did it all and that boosted up my self confidence and made me understand my self worth.
Today as the year ends.... I can never forget the things that 2020 gave me.... the lessons.... the experiences..... the sorrows.... the pain.... the liberation.... the ascendance.... and TRUTH.... it taught me LIFE and made me understand what really life is and also it has also took me close to my Spiritual self... and helped in my Ascension to a very higher level in all aspects and most importantly it made me close to my SHIVA.....
So finally Thanking SHIVA for giving me such a great chance to change to understand myself and for leading me towards my life's true purpose and towards the better life and the actual TRUTH and my journey towards my ENLIGHTMENT!!!
Thank you 2020,
with love,
the girl whom you transformed from Sri Lasya to Lasya Shaivite.
© Lasya Shaivite
