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They watch and learn
We were at a wedding for a close friend, and my wife was in the wedding party. Of course, that meant I was in charge of the boys - 2 and 8 years old respectively.
Instead of rice, the bride and groom had chosen to hand out bubbles for when they exited the church after they were officially blessed as husband and wife. My little ones were so excited to have the little bottles of bubbles. Before the newlyweds emerged from the church doors, my sons were shaking their little bottles of bubbles with glee, and starting to blow the bubbles a little. I told them, "We have to wait guys... wait until you see them come out of the church. Then! Then you can blow the bubbles, ok?" They responded in unison, "Ok, Daddy." They were adorable. The younger one, Jack, was a little harder to tame usually, but with his older brother Aaron around, he did almost whatever he saw Aaron do. So that made corraling him a bit easier this day.
Then the lovely couple arrived, and the boys blew their bubbles and cheered along with the rest of the guests. It was great for the wedding pictures! Such a happy and beautiful day. The crowd was loud and the boys were louder, but they had so much fun in that moment.
Then it was over, and miraculously they hadn't used all their bubbles. I told the boys, "Hey, save the rest of the bubbles! We're going to see the couple take pictures at the botanical gardens. There will be lots of flowers, and you can blow some more bubbles for their pictures too!" The boys agreed.
On the drive to the gardens, I noticed Aaron was dutifully guarding his bubbles. Jack was a bit more anxious to open his, but to his credit, he kept the lid on and waited.
We got out after parking at the gardens and started looking for the lovely couple. Aaron stayed next to me on his own, but Jack was still a little obsessed with his bubbles. As we walked, I noticed Jack started trailing a little more. Then he started unscrewing the bubble bottle cap, and then... BAM! He dropped the bottle and all the bubbles came pouring out on the ground. And then, he looked at me. I was already shaking my head. "I told you, didn't I? I told you not to play with that bottle. I told you to save the bubbles until we got to the pictures." He thought he was in trouble. He was probably more disappointed than worried about that though. He looked at me. I said, "What do you want now? I told you to save them. Now you have no bible bubbles, right?" He didn't even say a word, he just looked sad. But before he could get too upset, I said, "Well, lucky for you, I saved another one for you. But this time, I hold it until we get to the pictures, ok?" Jack said, "Okaaaay." He said it as of he was relieved he wasn't in trouble, but he still wasn't excited to let me hold his bubbles at all.
And as we started walking again, I was holding Jack's hand. Aaron looked up at me with his 8 year old eyes, and said, "Dad, do you know why I like you so much?" I laughed out loud for a quick second. "No buddy, tell me why!" He said, like some kind of college professor or psychiatrist, way beyond his knowledge or his years, "You don't worry about things that don't really matter and you don't make big deals out of bad things that happen." Obviously, he meant the bubbles pouring out and me not overreacting.
I said, "Thank you, Bud. That means a lot that you noticed that." But I could hardly believe those words can't out of his mouth! He was only eight after all.
It made me think about all the other things he's been watching me do all these years. Watching me eat, talk, exercise, watch tv, talk with his mom, drive, play guitar, cook, argue, and everything else. He was taking it all in. I knew they watched, but I didn't think they remembered. Oh... but they do! They really do!
I've tried to never forget that they are always watching. I don't need to be perfect - no one is - but they need to know I'm always trying my best. When I mess up, I tell them and it's a teaching moment for them and for me too. They seem to appreciate even those moments. I think they like to laugh at their Dad once in a while, and I have learned to laugh at my imperfections as seen through their eyes. I just remind myself... they're always watching. That makes me want to keep trying.
© Keith Tully
Instead of rice, the bride and groom had chosen to hand out bubbles for when they exited the church after they were officially blessed as husband and wife. My little ones were so excited to have the little bottles of bubbles. Before the newlyweds emerged from the church doors, my sons were shaking their little bottles of bubbles with glee, and starting to blow the bubbles a little. I told them, "We have to wait guys... wait until you see them come out of the church. Then! Then you can blow the bubbles, ok?" They responded in unison, "Ok, Daddy." They were adorable. The younger one, Jack, was a little harder to tame usually, but with his older brother Aaron around, he did almost whatever he saw Aaron do. So that made corraling him a bit easier this day.
Then the lovely couple arrived, and the boys blew their bubbles and cheered along with the rest of the guests. It was great for the wedding pictures! Such a happy and beautiful day. The crowd was loud and the boys were louder, but they had so much fun in that moment.
Then it was over, and miraculously they hadn't used all their bubbles. I told the boys, "Hey, save the rest of the bubbles! We're going to see the couple take pictures at the botanical gardens. There will be lots of flowers, and you can blow some more bubbles for their pictures too!" The boys agreed.
On the drive to the gardens, I noticed Aaron was dutifully guarding his bubbles. Jack was a bit more anxious to open his, but to his credit, he kept the lid on and waited.
We got out after parking at the gardens and started looking for the lovely couple. Aaron stayed next to me on his own, but Jack was still a little obsessed with his bubbles. As we walked, I noticed Jack started trailing a little more. Then he started unscrewing the bubble bottle cap, and then... BAM! He dropped the bottle and all the bubbles came pouring out on the ground. And then, he looked at me. I was already shaking my head. "I told you, didn't I? I told you not to play with that bottle. I told you to save the bubbles until we got to the pictures." He thought he was in trouble. He was probably more disappointed than worried about that though. He looked at me. I said, "What do you want now? I told you to save them. Now you have no bible bubbles, right?" He didn't even say a word, he just looked sad. But before he could get too upset, I said, "Well, lucky for you, I saved another one for you. But this time, I hold it until we get to the pictures, ok?" Jack said, "Okaaaay." He said it as of he was relieved he wasn't in trouble, but he still wasn't excited to let me hold his bubbles at all.
And as we started walking again, I was holding Jack's hand. Aaron looked up at me with his 8 year old eyes, and said, "Dad, do you know why I like you so much?" I laughed out loud for a quick second. "No buddy, tell me why!" He said, like some kind of college professor or psychiatrist, way beyond his knowledge or his years, "You don't worry about things that don't really matter and you don't make big deals out of bad things that happen." Obviously, he meant the bubbles pouring out and me not overreacting.
I said, "Thank you, Bud. That means a lot that you noticed that." But I could hardly believe those words can't out of his mouth! He was only eight after all.
It made me think about all the other things he's been watching me do all these years. Watching me eat, talk, exercise, watch tv, talk with his mom, drive, play guitar, cook, argue, and everything else. He was taking it all in. I knew they watched, but I didn't think they remembered. Oh... but they do! They really do!
I've tried to never forget that they are always watching. I don't need to be perfect - no one is - but they need to know I'm always trying my best. When I mess up, I tell them and it's a teaching moment for them and for me too. They seem to appreciate even those moments. I think they like to laugh at their Dad once in a while, and I have learned to laugh at my imperfections as seen through their eyes. I just remind myself... they're always watching. That makes me want to keep trying.
© Keith Tully
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