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Part 5: The Queen of Lies Megan Markle
Part 5: The Queen of Lies: Megan Markle, Duchess of Disgust
World, today we going to investigate the sick, sick, deranged breed and bloodline mix of that of con-artist Megan Markle.
While I don’t want to even find the words for this woman, I’ve been left with little choice but to exploit the misdeeds of the Antichrist Trinity.
Everyone, Megan Markle is a fake woman who has convinced you that she is half black by calling up a black woman in front of you and saying, “I’m black.” Here is my white face and Hapsburg-y jaw. (I see you’ve found my orthodontia molds while you were digging around in my things).
My mother taught yoga. That’s why there were all those yoga studios next to banks. Hello, Lincoln Park, Chicago. The last company made was named Namaste. You know, my mother at 60 years old was smoking hot. Her muscles were so toned. For a little woman, she was super slender, very agile, strong and extra fit. Of course, I was 18 at the time and a dancer so I laughed at her since I’ve been doing basically that same thing but in motion since I was born. What school did you say that your Mom originally received her Yoga license and certification from? What kind of Yoga? Hatha? Because I checked and there’s no one at least under your Mom’s name anyway that ever received a license or became certified to teach any kind of Yoga.
Yeah, my Dad owned GE Capital and the lightbulb that was sold without authorization last month. I say that with certainty because I know that there are not more than two people in the World who had Ben Franklin’s Trust fund and owned the lightbulb. Didn’t you say that your Dad worked on the set of Married with Children in the lighting department? My, look at the similarities between Megan and me. It’s almost like we’re about to be doppelgangers with our information instead of how we look. Wasn’t it your fake Dad preaching how you were no Grace Kelly all the way to the altar? That was an extra nice touch. Just like Mike Kelly is the Producer of Revenge (abc).
That being said, I should feel sorry for Megan because like me, she’s obviously lost all of her family and so quickly, it must be hard to make it through the day. Anyone have pictures of that Island wedding? Surely she had more than just her dear old Mom attend that big old party?
(We’re at what? Thousands of people in on stealing my identity and fortune?)
Let’s start with advanced stalker #1: MM
Similarities: We both went to college along my old road, Route 41, Al Capone’s old trade route: North Sheridan Road. Lake Forest College. Northwestern.
You know, you probably didn’t even go there. I’d ask for proof but since mine disappeared, I’m sure yours would appear. Albeit, magically, and out of thin air and with no merit. Who cares about college anyway, right, Kim?
What? You hadn’t crossed an Armour estate over here in Chicago. You ignored all those street signs that have my name on them during the 4 years you may or may not have spent studying in Chicago. How can you miss them? No. No. You didn’t go to Northwestern. My other sister went to Northwestern.
You know when Mr. T was leasing my House we had to make a new rule to protect our trees because he cut them down. How nice it must feel to be so loved by your fans that they are so thoughtful to send you or did you send those 100,000 trees to yourself: for privacy, of course?
If you wanted privacy you had the chance to go anywhere in the World. Stay out of sight then in a remote village or an island off the Coast of beautiful...
World, today we going to investigate the sick, sick, deranged breed and bloodline mix of that of con-artist Megan Markle.
While I don’t want to even find the words for this woman, I’ve been left with little choice but to exploit the misdeeds of the Antichrist Trinity.
Everyone, Megan Markle is a fake woman who has convinced you that she is half black by calling up a black woman in front of you and saying, “I’m black.” Here is my white face and Hapsburg-y jaw. (I see you’ve found my orthodontia molds while you were digging around in my things).
My mother taught yoga. That’s why there were all those yoga studios next to banks. Hello, Lincoln Park, Chicago. The last company made was named Namaste. You know, my mother at 60 years old was smoking hot. Her muscles were so toned. For a little woman, she was super slender, very agile, strong and extra fit. Of course, I was 18 at the time and a dancer so I laughed at her since I’ve been doing basically that same thing but in motion since I was born. What school did you say that your Mom originally received her Yoga license and certification from? What kind of Yoga? Hatha? Because I checked and there’s no one at least under your Mom’s name anyway that ever received a license or became certified to teach any kind of Yoga.
Yeah, my Dad owned GE Capital and the lightbulb that was sold without authorization last month. I say that with certainty because I know that there are not more than two people in the World who had Ben Franklin’s Trust fund and owned the lightbulb. Didn’t you say that your Dad worked on the set of Married with Children in the lighting department? My, look at the similarities between Megan and me. It’s almost like we’re about to be doppelgangers with our information instead of how we look. Wasn’t it your fake Dad preaching how you were no Grace Kelly all the way to the altar? That was an extra nice touch. Just like Mike Kelly is the Producer of Revenge (abc).
That being said, I should feel sorry for Megan because like me, she’s obviously lost all of her family and so quickly, it must be hard to make it through the day. Anyone have pictures of that Island wedding? Surely she had more than just her dear old Mom attend that big old party?
(We’re at what? Thousands of people in on stealing my identity and fortune?)
Let’s start with advanced stalker #1: MM
Similarities: We both went to college along my old road, Route 41, Al Capone’s old trade route: North Sheridan Road. Lake Forest College. Northwestern.
You know, you probably didn’t even go there. I’d ask for proof but since mine disappeared, I’m sure yours would appear. Albeit, magically, and out of thin air and with no merit. Who cares about college anyway, right, Kim?
What? You hadn’t crossed an Armour estate over here in Chicago. You ignored all those street signs that have my name on them during the 4 years you may or may not have spent studying in Chicago. How can you miss them? No. No. You didn’t go to Northwestern. My other sister went to Northwestern.
You know when Mr. T was leasing my House we had to make a new rule to protect our trees because he cut them down. How nice it must feel to be so loved by your fans that they are so thoughtful to send you or did you send those 100,000 trees to yourself: for privacy, of course?
If you wanted privacy you had the chance to go anywhere in the World. Stay out of sight then in a remote village or an island off the Coast of beautiful...
