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If roles were to be switched and guys cried for girls.
To Estella
It should have began when you were born. To open your eyes before me and let me be the first face you see, then maybe I would have been engraved in your mind and you would look for me all your life until you find me but such is but a dream and wishful thinking.
I fell in love with you the minute I met you but for you... it was never the case. I have watched you fall in love so many times in your life and getting your heart broken by undeserving men many times with a hope that one day, one day it would be me but that day never came. what I only got from you was a loud laugh when I confessed my feelings for you, a push on my face when I tried to steal kiss from you and a waving off my hand when I tried to touch your silky face... to you it was funny but to me a long painful death...
you will never understand my frustrations because for you I was just a school friend who had a silly crush on a popular girl in class but what you do not know , what you will never know is that my frustrations grew with me...
when you met that new boy in town at the library, when you went to your first date with that boy from the basketball court, when you went on your first road trip with that boy who was a waiter at aunt willow's ice cream house even the day you left for college and you told me on a chat that you met a guy who studied engineering my frustrations continued to grow...
so you can imagine how rapid they must have grown when you told me that you were engaged to a navy and I was forced to give up on you and my hopes of ever being your choice.
soon after you got married I decided that... you know what its done im through thinking about you so I met Sheila and before I knew it I was also getting married but was I happy? was she what I truly wanted? I thought so till you called me for a cup of coffee and I thought maybe just maybe you realised how much you mean to me and you would confess your love to me and finally my dream would come true but damn was I wrong... you were pushing your baby girl in a stroller and asking me to be her god father... for a minute I felt like this huge boulder fell on me. I just stood there staring at you silently while my heart was screaming at you, shouting at you but how could you hear it when you had that smile on your face that said "don't be silly, you know i don't feel that way for you...I like you as a friend and by the way I am happily married to the man of my dreams"
I swear that day my frustrations grew a thousand years older than I was, I felt myself drowning in them deeper than before and thats why I left Sheila and moved out of the city. I never told you that because it would have never made any difference to you and that would have hurt me even more than moving away from you.
As I write this to you I have been married to Tracy for almost six years now and I have a kid of my own and I am sure that you will think that I have moved on but to your shock ... you will find out that even though I have moved across the world from you and thag I do love my wife I never really got over you...
somethings just take a little getting used to. I just got used to the fact that you do not see me as your type of guy, you never had feelings for me and maybe we were meant to be just good friends.
I cannot wait for you forever that is why I said maybe it should have began when we were born and I would have been the first face you see when you opened your eyes then maybe I would have been engraved in your mind and you would look for me all your life until you find me and you would find me right here still hoping to be found.
from that silly boy who had a crush on you in high school. the one you laughed at when he asked you out on a date, the one you squished his face when he tried to steal a kiss from you and the one you waved his fingers off when he tried to touch your silky face...
Seth Harper
It should have began when you were born. To open your eyes before me and let me be the first face you see, then maybe I would have been engraved in your mind and you would look for me all your life until you find me but such is but a dream and wishful thinking.
I fell in love with you the minute I met you but for you... it was never the case. I have watched you fall in love so many times in your life and getting your heart broken by undeserving men many times with a hope that one day, one day it would be me but that day never came. what I only got from you was a loud laugh when I confessed my feelings for you, a push on my face when I tried to steal kiss from you and a waving off my hand when I tried to touch your silky face... to you it was funny but to me a long painful death...
you will never understand my frustrations because for you I was just a school friend who had a silly crush on a popular girl in class but what you do not know , what you will never know is that my frustrations grew with me...
when you met that new boy in town at the library, when you went to your first date with that boy from the basketball court, when you went on your first road trip with that boy who was a waiter at aunt willow's ice cream house even the day you left for college and you told me on a chat that you met a guy who studied engineering my frustrations continued to grow...
so you can imagine how rapid they must have grown when you told me that you were engaged to a navy and I was forced to give up on you and my hopes of ever being your choice.
soon after you got married I decided that... you know what its done im through thinking about you so I met Sheila and before I knew it I was also getting married but was I happy? was she what I truly wanted? I thought so till you called me for a cup of coffee and I thought maybe just maybe you realised how much you mean to me and you would confess your love to me and finally my dream would come true but damn was I wrong... you were pushing your baby girl in a stroller and asking me to be her god father... for a minute I felt like this huge boulder fell on me. I just stood there staring at you silently while my heart was screaming at you, shouting at you but how could you hear it when you had that smile on your face that said "don't be silly, you know i don't feel that way for you...I like you as a friend and by the way I am happily married to the man of my dreams"
I swear that day my frustrations grew a thousand years older than I was, I felt myself drowning in them deeper than before and thats why I left Sheila and moved out of the city. I never told you that because it would have never made any difference to you and that would have hurt me even more than moving away from you.
As I write this to you I have been married to Tracy for almost six years now and I have a kid of my own and I am sure that you will think that I have moved on but to your shock ... you will find out that even though I have moved across the world from you and thag I do love my wife I never really got over you...
somethings just take a little getting used to. I just got used to the fact that you do not see me as your type of guy, you never had feelings for me and maybe we were meant to be just good friends.
I cannot wait for you forever that is why I said maybe it should have began when we were born and I would have been the first face you see when you opened your eyes then maybe I would have been engraved in your mind and you would look for me all your life until you find me and you would find me right here still hoping to be found.
from that silly boy who had a crush on you in high school. the one you laughed at when he asked you out on a date, the one you squished his face when he tried to steal a kiss from you and the one you waved his fingers off when he tried to touch your silky face...
Seth Harper
