"Tell me what you want.. "
"I want You Swath... "
"You lost me already."
I said to Sagen on call while packing my bag to go home from college.
"I'm tired now. I'm fearful. I'm lost." I said as I tried to hide my emotions.
"These are your thinking over your cousins words... I'm helpless dear..." he said with lot of effort.
I sighed. To pass our emotions.
"Sagen... Why can't we be just friends? " I asked without thinking.
"What.... Friendship.... Have you lost it .... How can you even think... I love you dam it... I can't stay away from you... I can't let my hands stop touching you... My eyes over you.... Your..."
I cut him as my love will sprout again.
"Shut up...just shut up...... I don't want sex between us.... I don't want anything between us ... I feel I did a sin... " On my mind back.. I can hear whole world calling me sinner!
Silence went as my head started bangging...
"Swath... I won't let this happen... You are mine... Tell your sister to go to hell... If I find her... I will ask about her sex life.... How can she say all this.... " I can see his furious gesture.
" Shut up... Bye forever. Don't call me again. I can't forget about anything you did... Before telling about sex you would have gave at least one thought! " I said as my anger was ranging over hurt.


That day I saw moon. The clear, full moon just in front of my window. The sky... Filled with white light of moon.
I felt what have I done... It's just love for him... Or it's my fear...
Why.... It's hard for me to accept him... Why hard to forget him... Uff... I wish I was not so deep in love with him... I wish I never had...sex....I shut window in anger...and tried to sleep cursing my fate and my self and weeping!
© Saranya Anish Nair