7 / 08 / 2024
Why me? The same question asked over and over again. Overthinking constantly, why do I always mess up I ask myself but I never seem to know the answer. Fighting my anger constantly, I try to control it bit it gets the best of me maybe because I don't have anyone to tell me it's gonna be ok but I take it out on the wrong people,I keep it in to long and I mess everything up though all I really wanted was for him to have a good day at school and go home to message me and tall me all about it but I messed it up by saying what I was thinking, all I wanted was for him to care sometimes I think maybe they right when they say "When u love them to much they leave" well I was gonna stay quiet today until he said his going to KZN, his leaving me here to suffer, it honestly hurt when he said it and that was the last straw for me I just let all the anger out on him and I'm really sorry for doing that I just can't control my mouth when I overthink, though right now his probably not even gonna talk to me alot because I hurt him once again but i don't even feel anything... right now I'm still angry and the anger isn't going away at all,I wanted to see him tomorrow to but he said he ain't coming to school tomorrow and honestly how am I to beg him.. imma just let him be.. I was wanting to see him though hoping the anger would go away but I guess not. I wish he knew how much I loved him.
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