I've never denied God, but there were moments when I thought about quitting everything all together.
It's true that the only thing that keeps me going is the love I have for my children, and the love they have for me.
  I am going to let you into a profound piece of my life so that you can understand where my mind has been, and what those places have left within me. You will come to see how my writings relate
to it.
  I've written about my lack of faith, my beliefs, my heartache, things I've struggled with, things I've experienced, things that in my darkest moments I've contemplated on, and how I use my memories both good, and bad to climb out of the dark pit of depression while carrying a heavy heart.

  I don't question God's word, but I do seek answers for things that are a huge part of my life. I won't deny that there was a time in my life that I wanted to completely remove all that I had grown to believe in since I was a little girll.

  The answers I seek are for the simplest of questions, but to ask when, where, and why, I don't expect anything other than the only answer I will receive.
The one that doesn't have an answer at all.
  At first all I asked for was that God give me the strength I needed to keep going, keep fighting, and never give up on what was most important to me. To make me strong in my mind, and body so that I can be there for the family he has entrusted me to care for.
  After many long years, with obstacles that have no end, Ive asked for help to carry some of the weight.
  I know that he sees, I know that he hears, and I asked him,
how much longer, and stronger
must I be?
The soul is willing, but time has left me tired in my head,
in my heart,
and
my body.

 The longest period of darkness had hit me like a sledgehammer.
I found myself thinking that I didn't want to do this anymore.
  Feeling the exhaustion taking its toll, I just wanted to quit.

Although I have never written anything about leaving this world, it doesn't mean that the thought wasn't there.
My writings reflect a part, if not all of who I am.

  So I've opened up a piece that is very deep, and personal, and now I want to share these closing words.
 Other than the love I
have for my children
my love for writing
is also what saves
me every day.




           ~💀~
       Written by
  Sarah M Gutierrez




#SMG521
#MyJournal
#MyThoughts
#MyBeliefs&Faith
#MyStruggles&Doubts
#MyMemories
#MyStrength&MyLove
#MyFamily&MyLife
#Writer&Author
@gutierrezsarah31094




© #SMG521