I wish I were a sheep. I actually used to be a sheep. A black one for sure but a sheep indeed. In this reality everyone is a sheep of a new subspecies. This type of sheep is able to transform into various forms, or "archetypes" as some would call them, based only on the content of the knowledge they gain. I have fed from knowledge held back from and not meant for mortal mans ears to hear or closed eyes to see. I have trespassed you see, and at times, have brought co-conspirators in on my rebellious and curious inquisitions. I now bear my iniquity, as it sits ever so heavily on my shoulder, opposite the side that the demon sits on. I would ask it to relive care to my back but a monkey has taken up residence in that space I'm afraid. Anyway, let me be a voice of caution and explain exactly what not to do, so that you may remain in the oblivious comfort of sheep-hood.....

Have you ever heard a dog bark? Of course you have right? Well, have you ever heard a dog bark that immediately reminded you of the Black Labrador owned by your uncle twenty years ago who's name is "Ted"? That name makes you realize you need to watch that Ted Talk presentation on your saved-for-later playlist....which ends up being cut short again because during the speach the speaker talks about His dog, Ted. Hmmm...strange. You then decide to go grab a snack from the store so as you crank your car, you are stunned to hear the radio announce a new restaurant opening in your city named Ted's Tasty Treats....Ok this is getting a little strange now. You shrug it off in time to pull into the store but not before you spot a colorful, "Bill and Ted's Awesome Adventure poster on the biding opposite of the store. In shock, you turn back foreword as you watch a twenty year old Station Wagon pull in with a Black Lab in the back window staring straight at you, unflinching, as if you were a long lost pal...oh wait...the tag on the car says Ted! You walk into the store sweating and panting, focused only on your snack mission. The radio playing on the ceiling loudspeaker softly sing "Ted's Waiting, Ted's Watching". Screw this! You grab a Ted bar and head to the counter where Ted the attendant checks you out, smiling ever-so-creepily as he never looks away from your eyes when he hands you change and bags your Ted Bar. You grab it and bolt. Your now headed home as quick as you can. You passed some rolling hills covered in pine trees a little ways back and you thought you may have seen all the trees and their branches collectively spelling Ted a multitude of shapes and sizes covering the entire hillside. You intentionally look away and hit the gas. "Just don't think about it!" you tell yourself, surprised by your own level of self-panick in your thoughts. But within 3 seconds you see the blue lights of Trooper Ted pull you over to enforce Ted's Law, which bans riding with your gas cap opened on Ted's day, no, I meant Saturday. Wait, do I have to work tonight, you think? You have Ted, the new employee to train ....wait no Ted is the owner! That's why it's called Ted's Bar You Ted to the door...okay did I just Ted on that brand new Ted of Ted for Ted's sake, Ted! I will Ted! Ted it! Ted Ted Ted ?!?!!! Ted Ted ! Ted Ted , tedted teddy tedtedtedtedtedtedtedtedted.........
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