I don't blame you for wanting to fight me, I don't remember exactly why ... Something about a rumor I said, but you were my best friend, I'd never tell your secrets... Maybe you hated me or just wanted a reason to run... For how could you love someone that when you met, they were too drunk to realize you were passed out...? You said no so I left, but I should've kicked their ass. As I opened the door I could've but it's too late now, and who's to say I could stop them anyhow... Still, I wish I would have never drank that day. I could have whisked you away. Saved you from your dismay, and then maybe we'd still be friends to this day. Yet, I know that past is past, no turning back and that's a fact. So, I must letgo of regrets vast, what I lacked, decisions past and their impact... I can not lose myself in a dark hole, like I did a million times before. Blaming self for things out of my control, creating internal war, inside a sore. From childhood bore... I must let words pour like blood to the floor. Writing until I am able to heal down to the core.

© Ray-N-Lawn

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