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Things I Live By
There are a few things I try to live by. I find they make me happier, and they tend to make the world a better place.
"Say what you mean and mean what you say." On those rare occasions when my lady asks me if I mean what I just said, I tell her I always try to live by this. If you don't mean it people will eventually find out and begin to doubt everything you say. And gentle honesty is generally appreciated. Don't couch your words but don't be uncaring either.
Offer food for thought, not advice. I've learned from countless times in group therapy, both in and out of the hospital, that it's almost impossible to give someone good advice if you don't really know their situation and where they're coming from. Does your advice really suit their needs? You better hope so or else you just made things worse. I find it's best to share your experiences with them and let them take it as they may. Just food for thought.
Know when to help solve a problem and when to simply give an emotional hug. This may be easier for me than some since I think androgynously. I'm equally comfortable doing both and I instinctively know which is called for in a given situation.
Try not to judge. You don't know why someone acts or thinks the way they do. Their story may surprise you.
Try to be accepting of things that aren't harmful. This includes letting people live the lifestyle they choose. Rather than condemn their differences, celebrate them.
Always be curious. Why do they do that? How does that work? What if...? Don't be afraid to ask questions and don't apologize for doing it.That's how we learn. When we stop learnjng we start stagnating.
Treat people kindly and with respect. "First do no harm." You'd be surprised at the hearts you can win over by doing this.
Do good things for people for no reason other than it makes them happy. Take out a neighbor's trash, make some extra cookies for them, whatever. And don't draw attention to yourself for doing it. "You're welcome" or "it's my pleasure" is all you need to say.
Always be willing to lend a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to cry on. On my support forum I always tell people that if they ever need to vent, cry, or talk about nothing at all to just PM me.
Those are things I try to live by. Do I always do them all? Heck no, but I try. After all I'm only human.
© Mike Gurak
"Say what you mean and mean what you say." On those rare occasions when my lady asks me if I mean what I just said, I tell her I always try to live by this. If you don't mean it people will eventually find out and begin to doubt everything you say. And gentle honesty is generally appreciated. Don't couch your words but don't be uncaring either.
Offer food for thought, not advice. I've learned from countless times in group therapy, both in and out of the hospital, that it's almost impossible to give someone good advice if you don't really know their situation and where they're coming from. Does your advice really suit their needs? You better hope so or else you just made things worse. I find it's best to share your experiences with them and let them take it as they may. Just food for thought.
Know when to help solve a problem and when to simply give an emotional hug. This may be easier for me than some since I think androgynously. I'm equally comfortable doing both and I instinctively know which is called for in a given situation.
Try not to judge. You don't know why someone acts or thinks the way they do. Their story may surprise you.
Try to be accepting of things that aren't harmful. This includes letting people live the lifestyle they choose. Rather than condemn their differences, celebrate them.
Always be curious. Why do they do that? How does that work? What if...? Don't be afraid to ask questions and don't apologize for doing it.That's how we learn. When we stop learnjng we start stagnating.
Treat people kindly and with respect. "First do no harm." You'd be surprised at the hearts you can win over by doing this.
Do good things for people for no reason other than it makes them happy. Take out a neighbor's trash, make some extra cookies for them, whatever. And don't draw attention to yourself for doing it. "You're welcome" or "it's my pleasure" is all you need to say.
Always be willing to lend a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to cry on. On my support forum I always tell people that if they ever need to vent, cry, or talk about nothing at all to just PM me.
Those are things I try to live by. Do I always do them all? Heck no, but I try. After all I'm only human.
© Mike Gurak
