The first time we met, we were fighting with ourselves to stay alive. What a melancholic sight, wrapped in bandages and slit scars on your wrists.

Your shaved head reminded me of the triumph of war with yourself. But eyes sparkle with sadness of a lost war.

Then we were best friends all of a sudden. Talking about books and songs we loved, of lost love and how our bucket lists would never have crossed out to-do wishes; how we badly wished we were normal and to live a long life.

A few days later, your life was about to come to an end. I prayed to God that night before sleep to help you win this losing battle. I wish he would've listened. And you never woke up from the dreams you always said you wanted to watch.

I am sitting in bed sunrays peeping out from window curtains scribbling in my diary a poem about us i wish you could've read. It's a beautiful day outside, a perfect day to hang out. But it's all a distant dream I no longer wish to achieve, after all, it's not long before we meet.



you had slit scars on your wrist
hollow eyes and a shaved head.
i remember that wave of sadness
run through my body as our eyes met
after a few days you were found dead
on your hospital bed.


i try to forget you
from drowning myself in music
and get lost between the pages
and they make me remind most of you
you exist in words.


the lives we lived were indeed short
but the time spent with you
felt as if we knew each other from centuries
you taught me how to live
in these white walls
blue clothes and blue hearts
a gloom permanently perched in atmosphere.


i have not long left
to live with your memories
so i'm writing this poem
to forever stay alive in these lines.
no words can explain
how much you meant to me
maybe we could meet again
in another century.






© k. k.