You know the feeling you get, when you are on a carnival ride, where you want to puke your guts, but at the same time you want to scream in giddiness. That is how love should feel. That is how one should feel when they are in love.

But lately Lara doesn’t feel that way when she is with Sam. It has never been his fault. He is the best she could ask for, but it feels like something is off inside her. Sam has never complained. He handles Lara’s mood swing and occasional tantrums like he was born to do it. He loves her and she can see it in his eyes. She often wonders, whether he can see lack of emotion in her eyes. If he does, he never complained about it.

She can never describe her feeling around him. Sometimes she feels so happy around him, like flying in the sky. The other times her mind and heart would be in the darkest place known to her.

She can never look him the eye properly, it makes her feel as if she is cheating on him by keeping her feelings at bay.

He wants to know what she is thinking. It confuses the hell out of him when he sees the giddiness in her eyes and then how quickly it changes to deep sorrow, swirling in her brown eyes.

All this was happening so fast for them. Eight years ago they were so in love with each other, their respective jobs and in life. Eight years ago, they never thought of a situation like today’s, where they are trying to figure out what went wrong in their life. They know what went wrong, they are not acknowledging it, scared that it would swiftly bring an end to whatever they have.